Finished Folds (481—500)
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0cherished as toilet paper. This would prove useful later when Arya & Hot Pie opened shop & sold what Arya dubbed Walder Frey pie, whose secret additive did not agree with everyone.
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3the dolphin dialed Dr. Derriere's number. He said that after seeing Fifty Shades it hit him that he had no proper rear end and would like a "spankable" implant. Dr Derriere invited
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11like a red hot tamali. I remove the champagne bottles from the top of a pail & sit down. Ahhh! Dr. Derriere looks alarmed. Too late, I find they kept live lobsters in the ice, too.
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4Realizing his potential as a masseur, the robber aborted his job and left. The teller was ultimately inducted into the Muppets hall of fame as the greatest Beaker voice-over EVER.
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2So if Doc says you've only got a month to live, or if your mother-in-law moves in for good, remember to put things in their proper perspective. You could have been bald!
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5go on a fishing trip with her so we can bond properly. In the spirit of openness that ensued, Whiskers confided in me she didn't MEAN to leave hairs all over my sofa. "We cats have
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7to bring her glasses. On her first swing she caught the poor referee square on the chin. In between rounds she confused corners & sat on her opponent's lap.He wasn't into old women
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3. Next thing, Jose found himself in a strange room, seeing the faces gathered there as if from inside a monitor. "The next level of law enforcement!" cried one "Introducing... Robo
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9The man under the upside down Sopwith Camel sighed in relief- Cuckoo Glue DID work! His palms held fast to the wing. Things were looking good... until Snoopy spotted the Red Baron.
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5There we were, on top of the Sphinx's head, stranded in our balloon indefinitely- & I felt so lucky. I mean, imagine if this voyage had been MY idea & not my wife's! Suddenly, we s
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5Seasoned folders were perplexed by the content of the latest folds, which conveyed nothing more than a series of grunts and whines. A delegation was sent to the plant Kashyyyk, to
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4his doctor days. Patients would be wheeled into his operating theater for routine tonsillectomy, & emerge w/o a heart. They would then refuse their kids Xbox's, & deny their wives
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6nice for sharing his secret, & binged on Jack Daniels to get wise themselves. Soon, the sheriff had a holding cell full of drunks. "Itsh cuz of zhuh Wise Imp!" hiccuped his deputy.
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10Worse, Aunt Valetta's hair was dyed a weird shade of turqoise. Her concert over, she said "This way, babe!", put on a black helmet & made me mount a Harley-Davidson behind her. WTF
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6man-eating bad boy, that could intimidate Vinnie the Maimer who the circus was into for big bucks. The trainer mistook Dandy for such a lion, & eagerly captured him. "Saved!" he t
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6The patron said: "Maybe THIS will make it perfectly clear" & undressed completely. "Now, bring me my steak." "You can't do that!" protested the waiter, indicating a sign that read:
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4Yes, my ex had been the sweetest of souls, & it took years of constant nagging & harrasing before he was honed into the venomous killing machine he has become. You know him as "The
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5cook me alive. I dipped my corrosion resistant med pacifier in lava & stuck it in the savage's mouth. He gave a greedy suck & -voila- was thrilling his tribe with a sick wild dance
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9How doth thou go by such an appellation, if bringeth thee nought but anguish upon the hearts of thine beholders?" The chaste Joy seemed struck by the paradox thus exposed, but then
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5The man says: "If only you'd get off me- I can't breathe!" The woman: "I wish you'd speak up, Dear, I don't hear you." Clearly, they're in a crisis. Being a couples counselor, I go