Finished Folds (641—660)
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10the same rave, who were as much into each other as they were into Spencer. With Paradise within reach, Spencer had to decide whether to sacrifice it for the sake of his lofty motto
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3"Ahem. The EPI has announced wage growth in the US has increased so that we'll all be rich by 2019. Also, a major ISIS offensive in Iraq was countered successfully by Canada. Bye!"
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3"I hear voices, Doc." "What kind of voices?" boomed a query from behind me, making me jump. Then I laughed. It was Dr. Ajfdrugcbi throwing his voice. "Nice!" "I didn't say anything
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6"You're getting a spare tire & outgrowing all your briefs. A tiny climb from the seventh circle to the sixth wears you out. Dude, check out infomercials on slimming." Satan agreed.
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2, LeBron, we expected someone tall & maybe black. You ARE LeBron James, yes? We DID get the right address?" I nodded vehemently. Can any of you dudes please send me a ticket back?
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2came running, face purple with rage: "Imbeciles! Whadaya think you're doing! It's Memorial Day! Flag at half mast!" So Pvt. Pickett was lowered-honey, glitter & all-as Major Assh w
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1note threatening exposure of our affair to my wife was discovered, along with found footage of me attacking her. Yup, Saul's strategy of my hitting on Judge Katy was the best plan.
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3even for a nympho like me." "Plot?" my student was astounded "What for?" "Look," I told him, exasperated "your book 'Naked Came the Stranger' is trash. No one will ever read it."
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6ask the nerd at Home Depot for a bug zapper able to kill a really big fly. "How big, Sir?" "About yay high," I showed him (I knew Michael's measurements). "Follow me." He led us
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2It was just my usual welcoming shot, a sample brick of cocaine to inform the new neighbors I'm a big dawg dope dealer. But the window was closed. Kaboom! They thought I was KKK and
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7to feel stupid. Like, if I'm inviting a guy dubbed "The Party Strangler" for tea, are teabags with XXXXL length strings really the bomb? Now my carotid artery was paying the price.
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9c... I am NOT letting go of my Chipotle's steak burrito! I struggled fiercely to stay in the present, as the food fought to be vomited. I choked to death wearing a satisfied smile.
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4I sequestered 10 belly dancers, & my burqa clad buyer marched off with them. "She must truly love her husband," I thought. Turns out she armed them all with daggers, & as the sheik
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4Woodstock must have been. Wait... were passerbye climbing in thru their open window... and actually disrobing and joining them? The nerve! He yelled: "How dare you dis our privacy!
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0Zach Efron's toe, so that it would migrate to his nail that I had, kind of like Ash's arm in Vs. Evil Dead. If an oil heiress was ready to be violated for the nail, the toe itself
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9. It turned out my dog had recovered & was logged in on the laptop, flagging my latest fold as spam. He looked up guiltily at me, & hid his username. Now I knew who was sabotaging
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5, then saw they were his neighbors' flashlights. Everyone was scared & wondering why the cosmos was off kilter. They knew Thor was on one of his secret missions. What had he done?
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2"a d-documentary o-on naturalism!" His mother smiled knowingly: "The only thing natural about that tangled knot of pervs, sweety, was the bed's oak finish. You're doing sex rehab!"
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1115:22, Dr. Moodle finished demonstrating his Past Grabber, able to selectively project the most critical events of yore. E.g.: Titanic Captain's burp after his last meal, Kennedy's
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3when the maitre d' had Sarah empty her purse when leaving, her date gaped in awe as his Patek Phillipe and gold cufflinks clunked onto the table. "Can you show me how to do that?"