Finished Folds (141—160)
-
7me, unaware I was hearing every word. "<sniff>Poor bastard. Doc says he might never wake up." "Yeah. He'd WANT us to pull the plug." Whoa! I tried to talk but could only wriggle my
-
3. But Pringles xtra hot was a bad move- a canister with picture of something exploding!? Years of training kicked in, Sam drew his uzi. Yipee ki yay! was the last thing they heard.
-
3undies, having crapped himself upon getting the news. No longer aromatic, Jason burst into his boss's office, demanding an explanation. "How about the fact that you bankrupted the
-
7corrected in a snooty tone, "did you think the U.S. nuclear missile program would be commissioned to a mere layman?" We assured the professor we were satisfied with his credentials
-
4it struck Larry on the head. He staggered & keeled over. "The King is dead!" screamed the filming crew. Trump, watching the show, panicked:"What country has a King Larry? Oh, wait,
-
3Later on I got the news: Zombie #534 had indeed been fired! I rushed over to his former manager to thank him for the move. But when he took a bite out of my neck, I regretted havi
-
2My dog obliged & added more not-fudge-drizzle to my sundae. I once again marveled at the things my pregnancy made me crave for! My dog yipped proudly as her produce got gobbled up.
-
2shirt front, & realized it wasn't a prank; the idiot HAD found a wormhole stretching from his house to the 911 center! I tugged on his hand & the rest of him plopped into the room
-
4shutting down if you drove your car towards a drug den, whorehouse, or casino. Morality engine HG 12.1 also won't start if you're wearing a fur coat or eating a non vegan sandwich.
-
5d, unless you count the monstrosity on her neck. Details leaked out; her beau got cured of his blindness, took one look at her & lost his speech. Devastated, she tried to beautify
-
4nd they fell from their sockets:"Shdop dockin zho mush & buy me dring." So he took her to a bar that served to zombies & ordered a human arm martini. "Gotta check my traps," the ba
-
4side to discover their secret ingredient. I gasped at the sight of all those dog butts suspended over meat grinders & freed their yelping owners who bounded out to take revenge.
-
2for a vital meet with the Joint Chiefs of Staff."Mr. President!!" I pried my eyes open at 9 a.m. to see an aide's scared face. "In your absence, they declared war on Russia!" SOBs!
-
7hugged by everyone in the courtroom including the stenographer & janitor. Seizing the moment, she whipped out her tommy gun & robbed them at gunpoint. "No... not my wig too! Hey!"
-
5Sunstreaker was all anger:"I had the right of way, bud!" he yelled at me, hands on hips. I wasn't buying: "Just give me your car insurance info." "What car? Do you see a car here?"
-
6was genetically engineered by my niece to periodically dip into my pocketbook, emerge with a $100 bill & text her to come collect it.And it only came in SECOND at the science fair!
-
4My associate wedged his way inside, gun to the head of the cowering homeowner. "You must've heard many sales pitches, Sir, but I assure you OUR shoe polish is not only 16% shinier
-
7"Halt! Only a virgin may wield me." "Does looking at dirty pictures count?" asked Clancy worriedly. The magic sword bowed deep:"I am thine to command." "Yay! Your first assignment
-
4mouth of his own missus "...so's she don't talk none about this deed, or period." But his wife, tho illiterate, tried to inform cops down at the station in sign language of the mur
-
5"OK I swear!" "Is this her? Didn't know she's THAT pretty!" Thus the old man in an aside to me once I'd delivered. I shrugged. If a hooker loaded with STD is what floats his boat..