Finished Folds (621—640)
-
2Gallstones...those bastards are painful. Perhaps I should have told Lt. Columbo that his wife needs to lose a couple hundred pounds, but...my prints were at the crime scene becaus
-
1Every Tuesday, after I watch reruns of "Keeping Up With The Wests," I get a lesson in plagiarism-sorry-sampling from Johann Sebastian Kanye. Kanye says I got no rhythm-what does
-
3chemist Norman Stingley super ball tie tack, forced him down on all fours, and made him beg the bartender for a Suck, Bang & Blow!. "We're out of Cinnamon Schnapps!" the bartender
-
5but nowhere as costly as Lyin' Ted's snake's snake oil, which Hillary got Wall Street to buy for her, and, believe me, she truly needed it in order to lubricate her chasm of doom
-
1penis with a cast iron bacon press heated to 450 degrees Fahrenheit." The roomful of Catholic priests and nuns ignored her vulgar comments and started playing musical chairs.
-
4by Design, playing a Haute Couture jockstrap designer named Kanye Westmount. If the UFC had found out...well...he would've had to change his name from Bruce to Kathy. Ouch!
-
1the highway onto a dark road which led me straight into a village of pygmy mongoloids. They took me in, fed me, and let me have my way with their sheep. I stayed for a week, and
-
1But, alas, being a paranoid schizophrenic...I didn't trust anybody...so, I traded in my toothbrush for an AK47. I kept it clean. Even after I used it on the El Chapo.
-
1Muenster cheese reminded Kim Jong of his first love: Rhee Wianbu...she had the stanky leg and the stinky box...a box which held all of her worldly possessions, a G-string once worn
-
2any is quite a few?" "More than expected. Less than anticipated." "I think chaos is upon us...more or less." "Which is it? More or less?" "I'm not sure, but in this case, less is
-
12I dated a girl once by the name of Debbie Teeth who went by the nickname Spooky Tooth. Seems that I broke her heart, so she busted my jaw, and I had to eat my food through a straw.
-
0He almost drank me to death...put me in a two day coma...but I broke away from his spell...I divorced him...I let my injury go--finally--and gave him time and space to heal.
-
1the gurgling of his stomach. He hadn't eaten anything for thirty-six hours and his stomach had more knots in it then a hangman's noose. He waited and listened intently.
-
3Kathy and her boyfriend find living easy with their eyes closed. I guess it doesn't matter much that Kathy feels as if she's in a play because she is anyway. She is anyway
-
2It ends with a bullet right between the eyes, and the transfer of twenty million dollars into a Swiss bank account in my name. What makes it sweet is the road traveled to that end
-
3That's when Felix decided to leave Oscar a post-it note: "We're out of Cornflakes. FU." Then, oddly, he proceeded to wipe the linguine off the couple's kitchen wall. Go figure!
-
8until Mr. Anderson whipped out his drone, the DJ1 S1000 Octacopter, complete with an ultra HD video camera. In an instant, I lost them all. My paper airplane went up in flames.
-
2Triple 3 had what most everyone called Mumblesquare. He journeyed around the world looking for a gazebo modest to watch groundraise. "Always say always seldom!" said Nurse Yes.
-
1cellophane flowers of yellow and green that towered over my head. She climbed out of the room, and I followed her down to a bridge by a fountain. "What's your name," I queried.
-
4I opened a fresh box of .300 whispers and an equally fresh box of Duncan Hines chocolate cupcake mix, While I loaded a dozen magazines, I whipped up some chocolate ganache topping