Finished Folds (521—540)

• 6
  the woodpeckers, who promptly pecked holes in their hands. Huh. Well, no matter. The witch doctors proceeded to fill the pit with pits. Apricot pits, olive pits, avocado pits,

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 05:26:15

• 4
  bees. That's right, stupid pesky bees. Oprah had released them into her captive audience a few days ago, and since then, they were swarming all over the cameras and props. The d

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 05:23:02

• 2
  nobody could explain how HBO had managed to broadcast my dreams on their show. I had to know, but the execs were tight-lipped, driving me insane, hence almost offing myself. But

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 05:20:23

• 1
  worst and hoping for the best. Turns out it was the best time to be there, but the worst was yet to come. The best worst thing was that the best guest had the worst wurst and the

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 05:16:17

• 5
  The robot rabbits began transforming the hat, then my pants, and finally each other, into all manner of bizarre things. Well, I did say they'd transform! Thank you and goodnight!

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 05:12:16

• 4
  a giant meteor crashed down on my house and destroyed everything within several miles. And guess what? GEICO *didn't* help me save 15% or more on my car insurance. Those jerks.

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 05:06:31

• 4
  like that last one make for great paper footballs, but they make even better shurikens. Imagine, a FoldingStory Throwing Star. You could take out your enemies in complete

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 05:03:15

• 3
  could just walk into any old Gap and buy a shirt at a discount. I called the Fashion Police, who issued Mr. Floppy Pants a citation for a flagrant misuse of pinstripes.

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 04:59:10

• 3
  fantasies of world domination, but NOOOOOOO, he had to be all dead and stuff! That selfish bastard, leaving me alone with my mom and stuff. Who does he think he is, anyway?

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-12 04:54:53

• 4
  I watched as several dejected peanut salesmen got up and left the stands. It was really a shame - I had been looking forward to having some peanuts when my psychiatric evaluation

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-04 22:16:23

• 6
  But not nearly as sick as the guy behind me was about to be. The fish puns were sailing over my head for the most part, which meant the guy behind me was catching them. I started

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-04 05:41:44

• 4
  And so my evil plan was set in motion. First, the bidet in Brussels, then the toilet in Turkey. Soon, the world would know the might of the Commode Commando!

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-07-04 05:39:03

• 6
  But then, sadly, those jerks at the utility came and shut off my power. Darn it, I knew I should have paid my bill! Oh well, at least I had junk food.

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-11 04:09:21

• 2
  -let that turned into a magnificent manifesto outlining why all cats should be exiled to Siberia. But before he could finish, the Earth exploded and everyone died. The end.

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-11 04:05:34

• 7
  the ticking H-bomb on Miss Purdy's chest would explode at any second. We had to act fast. Manatee grabbed the umbrella, and I covered myself with a sheet of tinfoil. Three, two,

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-11 04:02:09

• 4
  Dub-steb remixes of Gregorian chants. Rachmaninoff looked at his toy piano quizzically. "Hmm. I do not believe that was supposed to happen." He had no choice but to

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-11 03:58:45

• 7
  being disco clowns, complete with white face paint, big red rubber noses, rainbow wigs and enormous shoes. The Elvis aliens really had no idea what to make of this bizarre display

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-11 03:55:05

• 3
  went to a Tea Party demonstration with a Pro-Life pin. They sure didn't like that, but somehow I managed to survive. So after that, I decided to try my luck at

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-11 03:53:04

• 10
  This subtle scientific principle was proven beyond a doubt when my wife walked out of the room carrying the remote with her, and my cat suddenly became a black hole.

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-03 15:59:28

• 1
  devour your brain and save you 15% on your car insurance!" Great, she thought. Now he was a zombie car insurance salesman shaman. What else could go wrong?

  Folder

  KieferSkunk

  Folded

  2013-05-03 15:37:27