Finished Folds (7761—7780)
-
5been cleaned. The other fingers have a mysterious musk on them the origins of which will remain nameless. Now, if you don't want me to stick
-
3her winnings. They had placed bets on whether or not Frieda White's wig would stay on her head. But when Old Man Draper sneezed, her wig shot off her head like a flying squirrel
-
6your nose when there are some boogers up in a nostril corner. You know that sweet, far and wee whistling? That kind that won't let you sleep? Until you jam your finger
-
2sausage gravy this much? It had won the Hattiesburg chicken fried steak contest, but was it worth risking a murder charge? I tucked the recipe in my baby's diaper for
-
3Then the shadow of a head popped up in the backseat. It grunted. Fear jammed my nerves so that no communication was possible. The figure leaned forward and I could see it had one e
-
5It was Richard Simmons. That kinky-haired freak was blubbering on the radio and I really wanted to shoot myself, I reached into the glove compartment and
-
3So to prevent her frivolous nonsense from entering his consciousness he loaded a shotgun, rigged it so that when the front door opened it would blast her straight in the
-
2Melissa Rivers fell asleep in the after glow of sex. When she awoke
-
1A hologram of a bad actor with a cheap cigar appeared. Scott Bakula asked, "Who am I?" And the Hologram said, "Uh...let's see, you're Joseph Stalin and this is 1942 and
-
1totally all about male sexuality. Giant, armored, heaving, muscular Knights who can only see each other. They can toast their masculinity, they can draw swords and
-
1It was Tiger Woods. He was drunk and armed with an Uzi. He took a swig of 151 and
-
1She said, "Uncle Murrey, your shoulder is pregnant." So I shouted, "At least I've been through puberty Samantha!" Just then her mom, my sister walked around the corner and
-
0bullet in her teeth. I could smell her enamel burning. She pulled out her shotgun and started blasting. The church crowd was crumpling up in a heap of blood and torn clothing,
-
2She was an idiot, yet she inherited the Oxford Chair of Speculation. It was her duty to make shit up in front of these "real" eggheads. She cleared her throat, "Back To The Future
-
1The problem was that I'd left my wallet in Bellevue. Cassie said, "Fuck wallets, let's go to Tacoma." I didn't mind smoking a joint on the way there but I owed the Puyallups
-
1her sister, "Chalula." Tatula was nice, but Chalula was fiery. She was spicy. Everybody wanted to take her top off and shake her, get her juice all over their meat. Tatula was
-
3pure dribble. Nursery Rhymes were invented by the MI6 to control the world and have everyone secretly worship castles and royalty. Hit them while their young was
-
2No they wouldn't. The pirates slapped her hands away from her nipples. The bearded fiends suckled like her jugs were jugs of rum. There was no food in the survival boat so
-
2it took me days to get to his office because I wouldn't follow advice on how to get there. I flat refused to put the letter in envelop just because someone told me to. And when I
-
2friggin' time. It was annoying, so the "pervert" decided to make a chart so that we would never be at the same window at the same time. I was an artist, so I wore a smock and he