Finished Folds (8361—8380)
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1it was 2012. She had 8 minutes to live. She grabbed the person next to her and made out with gusto. The smell of lox, bagels, onions and cigar intoxicated her. She opened her eyes
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4but it covered only the non-pertinent information. On the side of a Paper Jamz amplifier was the latest gossip at the factory, in French. None of it was about the toy. It told the
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1Neverland Ranch in the first place. Bubbles the Chimp was alive which was a miracle. Michael has been dead for awhile. Then a fist grabbed her throat. It was the Elephant Man's
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3the executioner's platform. It took 1 minute and 57 seconds for him to get this, then it was lights out. The old Dutch woman in the front row kicked Bob's head into the crowd. She
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1so sliced sandals out of them. He used their intestines to make long thongs. He loved strappy shoes. They made his ankle so delicious. He jumped on his camo ATV, hit the gas and
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3driven by Wavy Gravy to Woodstock. She chewed on a softball-sized jaw breaker made of acid. She had been to "far out" and realized English Comp. was the wet tube sock of knowledge.
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2of the behemoth film critic Roger Ebert. He had half a jaw and an electronic voice. A voice he used to pan another Sandler film. Stephen Hawkens rammed his chair into Ebert's
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4Of course that was only in the cartoons. Usually it ended with a poof of a dust cloud at the bottom of a generic canyon. But he was willing to try anything. He put a quarter into
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1mate "Lonnie." They had just broken out of prison and holed up at Theresa's house. The magically ringing phone was adding to their paranoia. Was this a trick of the cops? They
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2who wrote the book love. He screamed, "Tell me, tell me, tell me who!?!" The demons dragged him to Barnes and Noble. The pushed his face into the Sex & Relationships section. Books
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0but if he quit after a year he could keep only the left shoe. Sketchers was a tough company to work for, but he wanted shape-ups so bad. He needed buns of steel in order to
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5Damn the witch doctor which had magically transformed him into a mole. He tickets to see the miami heat tonight, but his was stuck in a dank tunnel just below the gold course. What
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4the day I agreed to Marry Dan Quayle I was out of my mind. I was under the strain of a torrential PMS hormone stampede, a gallon of Nyquil and Decaslim. I slogged through that
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0He saw the paper toilet seat covers. He pulled out his baggy. Inside was a powdered eczema flakes, scabs, blister husks and dried puss. He blended them in the coffee grinder. Then
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2He loosened the screws on the front tire until the nuts almost fell off. That's when Frankie came out. He jumped on the bike. He said, "Frankie, pop a wheely!" Frankie rode hard
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1She opened the coffee make. "Uh, Delilah? Where are your coffee inserts." Delilah cocked her head, "What, you mean filters?" She said, "What's a filter?" The blank stare on her
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2He had bed-head, tight jeans, a McGriddle gut, and an iphone. He ordered a Venti Mocha Latte and paid with a "gift card." His belt had studs in it. A knotted handkerchief clung to
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3Brad finally had to tell his father the truth. But did he have the strength? Could he tell his head-bobbing, "thinking man's music" father that Steely Dan sucked the high hairy
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1"Despite the International acknowledgment that Carnies are the zenith of human lives turning out to be a colossal flop," he paused, "Carnies think they are on top of the world."
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1The guitar was used to communicate with the other spy. The location of debriefing was the Guitar Center. He would come in and noodle "Hotel California," while the "cashier" trans