Finished Folds (101—120)
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1I wasn't sure if he even knew it. He'd been manipulating us all along, but the tiny data port on the back of his neck told me he himself was both puppet master, and puppet himself
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1The laugh track was his cue. If he could strangle Oliver during the commercial break, maybe Alice & the kids could make it until Mike got home. Oliver was the devil in this dream
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1and they scattered like gazelle in the path of a lion. Christmas carolers weren't used to gunfire, even if it was nerf darts. Two ran into the street and the 5 o'clock made paste
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4someone would step in it and then step onto a plane. The close quarters would infect them all and they'd be pissing a pool in coach before anyone knew. The TSA's shoe fetish would
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0Lye, hydrogen peroxide, a hacksaw and a plunger (just in case). I saw them in her bag and before all the excitement and thought, "hey, must be fate." Two hours later, the bathroom
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2When a suicidal priest finally hobbled toward the rail, he gazed over the water toward San Francisco. His decrepit bones crackled as he climbed. When he leapt, mid-air, her fangs
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2The old bus crapped out two passengers, hot and sticky, onto the curb. The heater on the bus wasn't really stuck on high, but the driver loved the metaphor. He regarded children as
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1I'd fallen in love with the home depot cart and it was all I could have dreamed of in a happily ever after. It could hold my weight and didn't squeak much when I leaned on it, so
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0and I guess you're going to be the one to earn enough for me to get it Jon." Johnny gazed hazily over the band of half-dead escorts and baked the last of his mind with a random jay
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2house, that was supposed to be in Canada, was in North Dakota instead. Some immigration guy told me that satellite surveys had determined I was living in the US without a passport
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4"I hate you as much as your mother hates you, if such a thing is possible." she said, and before I could respond, "If you died, nothing would be any different except I’d be happy.
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1"Don't say shit!" she screamed, swiveling her head like the night before under completely different circumstances. "Even if you DO talk to the hand, only one of my fingers has
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4When I finally hit seventh grade, breakdancing was hitting it’s stride. Back then, I was in good shape and as kids often do, I formed a breakdancing club. At the time,
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3From the time that I was twelve and fell in love with a girl named Wendy, beautiful daughter of my mother’s friend from law school, I wanted to get married and have a family.
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1Before making the final decision, I consulted my girlfriend Suzie and her daughter Kylie with whom I lived. Naturally, Kylie showed all of restraint any child of 10 would when
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6Let me first apologize for lying to you. I don’t just go off and lie for the fun of it, but sometimes things get better with age. Wine. Cheese. The truth.
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1I almost always get a little teary eyed at moments of greatness. Whether I’m reading something that is particularly well done, or reading the story of something great, I usually
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3I wouldn’t kill a pregnant woman or a kid and he was asking me to do both, never mind his double negative. It was a definite weak spot on my “bad motherfucker” resume.
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0What was so remarkable was that it was the first specific thing I could remember about that night other than walking out of there alive. J. Kelso, my former employer had used
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1The phrase “super vigilante deal” bounced around my head like a .22 shell inside a thick skull. The only other time I’d heard that phrase was the night everything had jumped off