Finished Folds (381—400)
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2In a can. He used to laugh when he prank called the tobacconists. The Queen was not amused. She knew from experience how Prince Alberts, as these jokes are known, could be painful.
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1Be in the hallway making copies. The boos had specifically said collated, no staples. Bleeding from the back of her head, she ran toward the rogue stapler and leapt upon it to save
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3the Coyote dropping an anvil on her head. Let me tell you when the dust settled she was in no position to say meep meep. he laughed and said Candy was dandy but iron was
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3Unfortunately she was also a Keebler elf and incompetent. Ernie tried her in cookie forming but she didn't cut it. She also couldn't rise to baking. She misunderstood sandwiching
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1pink bunnies doing Hatha Flow. Gradually even that was too exciting for the rabbits, so they settled into peaceful slumber. Then they transformed into cotton balls.
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5hapless women from marrying her odious son just by expectorating onto their faces. When she said, Not good enough, people thought she meant the women but really she meant her son.
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1The Ray sof blinding light emanating from my mouth. White strips, white strips, must have more white strips. Must. Get. Teeth. Whiter.
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5It's amazing what a change of venue can do to a person. In Niger I saw Dick Cheney desperately trying to give-not sell yellow cakes of something to anyone wearing a burka.
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4I think it was because the heartburn gave them something to talk about. They could compare symptoms, and critique the effectiveness of Pepcid. Which they agreed was not as good as
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3Quentin Crisp channeling Cher. It was the first time ever that hearing Half Breed was an ordeal for me. It had been a song of Native american liberation for me and Tail Feather,
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0Going once, going twice, sold and the BMW now belonged to a little old lady from Pasadena. The next lot was a slightly soiled oven mitt. The auctioneer
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4Minding it's own business when a softball flew in, as if from nowhere, and clobbered it head on. The pain was intense but
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0inch dice and had labelled them stew meat. Really more of a Williams Sonoma thing, I know, but Dudley wasn't the best at disposing of the bodies he made. But too many Cheetos
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2Suzette saw stubble / on David's face / then went to Prom / with a guy named Chase / Burma Shave
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1then watched as the Martians landed, deplaned, and made Marshmallow sandwiches. The good kind, with the crusts removed and lots of ketchup top and bottom. He asked for one and
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1And struggled to remove the Visegrip from his genitalia. Pressed for time, he
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3had popularized The Brazilian. Oh sure, it was logical that Blanche Devereaux opted for depilatory innovations, but the ensuing craze had led to that Vagina Monologues abomination.
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1who were unfamiliar with St Eligius and The Colbys. Perhaps the most disconcerting element of his book radings was when he would stop abruptly and talk Alex P Keaton. As if an Ohio
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2worked and he was soon indulging in his favorite pastimes: pelting big boned guys with cans of SlimFast and stealing their pic-a-nic baskets. But he had made a BooBoo, because the
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2phobias: the Noelco Santa that rode the electric razor in the snow, and the rumor that Gillette was going to introduce a 7 blade disposable. Both would lacerate her larynx,