Finished Folds (5121—5140)
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8Montana, where I could run wild and free...free of parents, free of painful back conditions, free of bipedalism, and free of all the lies I had been told. I found my nirvana in the
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5infiltrate the Chinese curling team's quarters. He suspected the Chinese team was genetically modified. Turning up the collar of his hobo disguise, he slipped past security just as
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5bovine friends applauded how he'd overcome his bulimia.Toby's life was an inspiration to other anorexic cattle and he started raising money for research by mud wrestling other farm
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6resource center was up. I made note of the assassination and then clocked out. Oh, would you look at the time? It was Happy Hour down at Ed's Place. Stepping over Cindy's body, I
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1shisha and his tasty shishkabobs...and hard as it was for David to admit, he knew down deep inside that despite his tassled nipple pasties, Nancy only wanted to shush him and smoke
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4it what its got in its pantelones." Willy had the willies now."What's taking so long, Willie?"Teacher called from the classroom.But the skeleton in Teacher's closet had a secret to
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5a few euros. Another really cool thing the new knife could do was liposuction. Fat-bottomed German girls lined up outside the Swiss Army headquarters not only to get their adipose
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5. She enrolled in a yoga class, thinking this might help. Within weeks, she was bending over backwards to do her crafts. Her friends started calling her Bendy Wendy. Her boyfriend
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6we just stayed there...and stayed there until she turned 37 and I was (counting on fingers) 69. By then the game of tag was over and we were free to engage in more adult activities
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2because I was kinda busy puking in the bushes along the roadside.The cop came up behind me and sniffed. "I'm issuing you a citation for failure to share your eggnog with an officer
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4tractor and experienced a total eclipse of the heart. Matt was his name and science was his game...that and erotic wooly peanutbutter scent of the kinky-haired woman before him.
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3ed as the morphine kicked in. Visions of sugarplums and Miranda Kerr danced in his head. He left his body and began feeding the sugarplums to Miranda right there on the dancefloor.
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2"and so I axed her what she did wid it and she say she donno," Placenta said.The detective held up his hand. "You say you axed her?" "Yeah, I axed her." And that is how Placenta
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3Dear Santa, How are you? How is your wife? I'd like to explain that little incident at Charlie's place.
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3(SLAP!) I SAID, DON'T touch mine and I mean it. Unless...you got the stuff. You got the stuff, man? OK, then, now we're talkin'. Gimme all the stuff you got.
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4. It suddenly struck me how pitiful I'd become since I lost my job down at the docks last month. Sitting there in the tub, playing with plastic tug boats and Barbie reminded me of
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5one big adventure when your family dabbled in cloning experimentation. We could hardly wait to see what Granny would "cook up" for us for Christmas with the special sauce.
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5Of particular interest to Xorg was The Hobbit Menu featuring Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet. The abducted Denny's employees were terrified, but complied with Xorg's wishes to taste
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4Martha,whipping out a plate of holiday hors d'oeuvres.Manatee P.I. nibbled thoughtfully on the piquant morsel, then (figuring it all out) he began to chuckle, then laughed out loud
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3with his bowlful of jelly, is as real as you or I." With that little nugget of holiday reassurance, I disappeared before their very eyes, inavertedly adding to their doubts. Could