Finished Folds (5361—5380)
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5This story I am about to tell you is not funny, so don't laugh when you read it. No matter how bizarre or unrealistic the details may seem, I assure you it is absolutely true.
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5handled by his agent, Geppetto, as well as he should have been. He felt stiff and unnatural...wooden-ish. Truth be told, he didn't want to do the show in Uganda in the first place,
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3without a muffler drove through the neighborhood and woke him up. Pete realized that he had been having a sex dream about Elaine's mother, MRS. Robinson. Strains of The Sound of
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4tions, Mr. Jones," a throaty voice floated above him. "Now tell us what you did with Agent Barbie. And don't tell us you don't know what we're talking about!" I must have hesitated
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4Apparently so, because there they stood, with expectant looks on their faces and hands outstretched. OK, she thought, I can play this game too. She pasted on a smile and then
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5babushka man traveled in a handbasket and asked the bartender for directions. Who stole second base?" I shot back, a petulant tone added for emphasis. My genius sister didn't
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3, wondering in my semi-consciousness why I was here, what it was all about, and what I was supposed to do next. I did what any normal depressed person would do: I fell asleep and
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2eez-Whiz does this to children sometimes," she explained. "They get gaseous and cranky and when that happens, there is really only one course of action." Supernanny stuffed the
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4seven months at least! I was still small enough to hide and I ducked behind her ovary just in time to evade the coat hanger. Well, I know when I'm not wanted. So I planted myself i
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4lurked behind the litter box. "Here Kitty, Kitty..." What happened next was surreal. I found myself in a Pea Green boat with Jo and The Owl. Owl held a dagger to my throat and said
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3Poor puppy. So misunderstood. Big brown eyes and little wet nose. This was no monster dog, Penelope decided, bending down to scratch him behind the ears. Professor screamed, "Noooo
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7ary Position Impossible." The middle-age boomers were next...sucked into the blue dwarf like dust into a Hoover vacuum cleaner. The MotherDwarfShip disappeared then into the sky
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2Nothing relieved the agony! Ah, the AGONY! Jack and Jill ran back up the hill to fetch another pail of water. This was getting tiring. Jack, the clumsy oaf
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5was inane. Lydia's phenomenological approach to life frightened men off. That is, until she met Jeremy. He could point to the sky and say "Blue" and she'd understand that he meant
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5and shoved his (my) head facedown on the glass surface, pushed the Start button. As he (I) screamed, the eeries green glow of the copy machine scanned his (my) features, creating a
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5I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
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5I heard it before I saw it. And I felt the chill of the shadow pass over me just before I turned and encountered Stevie Nicks. She wanted leather and I wanted lace. She shoved me
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5and set up my Febreze stand right there. The villagers liked "Honeysuckle Hibiscus" best of all and I sold out in less than an hour. Gorilla mating season was when I made the most
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3his pace (and her fanny pack) and started bounding up the steps of the Mayan temple.Sure enough, Annie's eyes looked otherworldly. She looked through him, not at him. Howard
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2was an equal opportunity employer. He didn't discriminate on the basis of gender, race, socioeconomic status, religion, sexual orientation, or age. El Santa belonged to the Chamber