Finished Folds (101—120)
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6laughed harder at my abasement. Tears streaming down my face, I ripped my clothes off. "Gaze upon the extent of my shame!" I yelled. They fell silent, no doubt at the sight of my
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4smuggle a package to his son. And so I spent my first day outta prison with Toots' son, a boy ill-equipped to inherit his father's crime empire. "What's in the box?" he said meekly
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3"Dangit, John!" Ryan yelled, yanking the computer mouse from John's grip. "What did I say about deleting states? We were all glad when you got rid of Florida, but Delaware...
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7master lay on the ground. I took my cucumbers from the headmaster's prone form. "That'll teach you to steal students' lunch/beauty products," I said sweetly before crushing his
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4just grew back!" "It's the family curse," I said. "Curse? Why?" I rolled up my trousers, showing him a gangrenous leg. "Couldn't amputate. It grew back, exactly the same."
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5We put the corpse-patties into the oven. While waiting for them to finish, we giggled about boys. "Luke has such pretty intestines," Sara said. "It's a shame his spleen is so
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3I called 911. "Hi. The Prime Minister's a farting alien. Didja know?" "Old news," rumbled a voice on the other end, "and now may I take your goshdang pizza order?"
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1. Renowned author Dan Brown listened to the conspiracy unravelling on the other side of the door. "By God," the 5 ft 9 in man thought. That would be the plot of his next book,
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4spinal cord as beams of disapproval radiate from your scowl and tear their innards to ashes. But this technique is illegal in 49 states, so you'll just have to move to
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7The Cannibal set to teaching the locals of Connecticut how to add long pig to New England cuisine. All while doing his PhD and volunteering at a homeless shelter. What a great guy.
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5and confronted Walt about all the terrible things he'd done right at the New Year party. "I know it was you," Eric hissed. "I know you were the one who wrapped that cockatoo in
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5drooled a little as she looked at him, reminded of his sexy swamp monster Halloween costume last year. "Nice picnic," he said. "Oh," she said, "yeah. Nice picnic..." She fidgeted,
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5"You need to get over this," his therapist said at last. "Go to a school tomorrow and see if you can talk to a teacher without bursting into tears or asking them to spank you." He
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2don't think I'm in Heaven anymore." "Well, bummer," Dorothy thought to herself. Now that Mom was back, she wouldn't be able to kill anyone. Time to clean her room.
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6Chef Boyardee. He turned and said to me, "My love, what are we doing in this tree?" To this I had no reply-ee. Ohhhh, how could this be? I thought and
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7fjorded nordically. "Oh, ååååh. Rød grød med fløde." Those words of wisdom imparted to the polar bears, Guntaar went in search of some ludfisk. However, he only found
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5thought he was weird, and besides, Serling couldn't fault them for spreading rumours saying he ate cigarette ash when it was true. After devouring a full pack of Camels, Serling
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1set. Yes, they'd dine well on Charlie tonight. Pearl cut him into chunks and tossed him on the grill. "Boil some pasta," she ordered the deckhand. "And get some onions and leeks
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5cycled out of the family xmas party in tears. "Why couldn't I be called Chastity instead of my sister?" she thought. "Then maybe Stephen would go after her instead! Or Patience!"
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3, you say Old Etonian and I say wanker..." As I sang in the pub, I scanned the faces in front of me. Some nice ones from Cambridge, but I wanted Oxford. Heck, even a Geordie.