Finished Folds (381—400)
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4afterlife hotline for assistance at 1-800-DEADNOW. All starving ghosts are welcome, so call today. Operators are standing BOO!
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3main deck by the pool, watching man-boobed guys playing volleyball. But it was, after all, the plague. When it came time to leave a tip, the plague just killed the waiter. That was
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4the organization is called Blindfold Everyone with Bloody Old Panties, or BEBOP for short. A group of prominent jazz musicians don’t like the acronym and is suing the organization.
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3The guests were unaware of the chopped body, as I sliced the cake in the darkened room. If only I could get rid of the body parts unnoticed! Then…some idiot turned on the lights.
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5Bambi was fine! She shimmied out of her tight jeans as the men hooted & whistled. How Bambi could tease! “Hey, you bucks, give me YOUR bucks and I’ll show you more!” The men pulled
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3The Tree King spoke: “The gods sending messages are…” Suddenly the Tree King stopped as a dog passing through urinated on his trunk. Angered, the Tree King clammed up. The Orcs got
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4opened the box labeled ‘Pirate Treasure’! Why would anyone label a box of pirate treasure that way! Pete should’ve known it was a trick!” My wife was upset because inside the box
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4oor. Wiping sleep away, Cole looked over the side of the cot and saw the street 20 floors down. “Whoa!” he exclaimed, turning away. The cot rocked on the building’s edge, and Cole
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2Ringo erred on the safe side & decided to take the painting gig but waited too long: The job went to some dude named Pete Best. Sadly, Ringo accepted Lennon’s offer to join the Bea
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3But then Liza came upon a whole mess of zombies in a line, shoulder to shoulder, like Revolutionary War soldiers. Her slenderness wouldn’t allow her to get past them. What to do?
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4was his business. I auditioned at Vegas casinos, but my act was not Penn & Teller’s or David Copperfield’s. I needed a gimmick. I remade myself as “Screwdini,” the magician who
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8go after the caterer’s head. The headhunter swung the machete. The caterer ducked. Seeing an opening, the caterer kicked a severed head across the room, infuriating the headhunter.
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3to the crowd. “PINK SLIME…GOOOOOD!” The crowd laughed uproariously in approval as Bunga went on in inimitable caveman style to joke about other culinary delights. “MAMMOTH! I LOVE
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1Dr. Pooh called Slim’s honey addiction normal, so Slim accepted the diagnosis. Slim ate so much honey that soon he couldn’t be called Slim anymore. He was Fat. The day he tried to
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5to the ground. “Got you this time, bitch!” Charlie Brown snarled at Lucy as he held her shoulders down. “Did you really think your football trick would last? Schulz is DEAD, baby!"
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4couldn’t multitask and dumped a milkshake into the drive-thru customer’s lap. “Kumquat!” the attendant said, “I’m so kumquat, sir!” The manager thought, ‘There’s that word again…'
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2bystanders who were just watching the Macy’s parade. An enforcer, rifle in hand, would ask, “What are you doing?” “Me? I’m just watching the parade.” And BOOM! He’d be blown away.
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6did was open a practice. I treated patients for 6 months before one looked at my license. “I never saw a medical license filled out in crayon.” I knew this guy would be trouble, so
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3star porpoise at the studio. Kipper put Fred & Ginger to shame.” I was confused: What in hell did Fred Flintstone & Ginger from Gilligan’s Island have to do with dancing porpoises?
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4“Hello,” said Liquorice, ingratiating himself with the other candy. “Have a taste!” he said slyly, extending a strand of himself. The Skittles shook their heads “No,” backing away.