Finished Folds (521—540)
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3“I know there’s a shortage of French horn players who can effectively portray the wolf, but seriously…KAZOOS?!?” – Entertainment Weekly.
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5the sofa in the office on fire. “Fire…GOOOOD!” He then buzzed for my secretary, who came in with a shorthand pad. “Take letter!” he snarled. I left, head bowed, utterly defeated.
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4Inside, I saw live pigs on one end, finished sausage on the other, and all kinds of butchery in between. The scene was disgusting. Strangely, I liked it so much I decided to stay.
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3produced in Russia or China. Their cars were bulky, weighing as much as the average tank with an elephant on top. So the cars weren’t pushed off the cliff by Russia or China, which
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4Indoctrination was in at the college. Mush-brained students attended class, unlearned common sense, and spouted PC platitudes but couldn’t remember lyrics to “The Addams Family."
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5“Much obliged,” said the large man, sitting down. Slowly the saloon came back to life with conversation and piano playing. I ordered whiskey for us both. “So, do I know you?” he as
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5interrupt their viewing by leaving the movie to buy popcorn or use the restroom. “What did I miss?” they’d ask upon returning, only to be eaten alive by the zombie audience members
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7. Buckets the Clown set the 4-cheese pizza before the wolves. They sniffed it and turned up their noses. “But you LIKED the pepperoni one!” said Buckets, shocked. “That’s because w
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1the castle, but she was there that day—right beneath the Throne Room. The concubine heard a creak above as plaster showered her head. Then the throne crashed through the ceiling
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6Otto appealed but got nowhere. He found out later the judges were closet “beard racists” who would never give an Asian style 1st place. Otto decided to grow a Paul Bunyan instead.
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6“Something’s fishy around here…ME!” Icarus fell to the floor, legs now a tail, skin all scales. “Damn, I didn’t plan that well. I’m nowhere near water!” He flopped a bit then died.
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3But it wasn’t the lead that killed him. Stripping, he happily announced to the group, “Let’s go for a swim!” He jumped into the lake and sank like, well, a lead sinker. He drowned.
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4Inside,” said a sign on the box, which Yahweh and Morpheus apparently didn’t see. When they lifted the bowling ball, underneath was a real bomb: the 2016 remake of “Ghostbusters."
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2All looked hopeless. Then a horse galloped into the clearing & spoke. “Hark, citizens! We're free! We won’t tolerate this!” A citizen spoke. “Hey, get a load of the talking horse!"
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1erited. Then discussion began. “Know what I hate? Folders that continue by folding just 1 or 2 words, sending a story into oblivion.” “Yeah, and I hate stories that just end abrup
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4“Don’t try to change the subject with an Abbott & Costello routine! The subject is reefer. Stay on topic. I'm asking what’s the reefer the dog is smoking?” “No, What’s on second."
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3I entered shock and a dreamlike state. A snow-crusted fairy snipped the end of my nose with a scissor, while Nat Cole sang in the background, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…"
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7tried unsuccessfully to install plumbing at Versailles for the diarrhea-afflicted. It wasn’t until years later that Marie Antoinette offered a solution: “Let them eat Kaopectate!"
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2Hollywood kept the “Jack” character gimmick going, offering Nicholson the role of Jackie Kennedy in his next film. Jack looked fetching in those A-line dresses and pillbox hats.
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7As a flying squirrel I also move better than humans—mostly. Once while gathering food I was flying and averted my attention. I turned back and smacked into a tree, banging my nuts.