Finished Folds (541—560)
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5been wanting to walk on since Christmas. His legs now crushed, Prizma dragged himself with his hands onto the sidewalk, where his back was promptly run over by a bike messenger.
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4Update to a 1960s TV commercial: Like a fold? Simple. Except when arthritis flares up, with its pain and stiffness. For help, reach for
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3She was so accomplished on that pennywhistle that she was always looking for new challenges. Her latest attempt was “Flight of the Bumblebee.” Bad decision. Her fingers got all
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1lio, Beavis’s alter-ego, walked with arms lifted like goalposts desperately trying to finish the story. “Are you threatening me?” he asked everyone, who invariably answered “Yes."
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1Dour David Duke delivered dense dog doo-doo donning different dirty denim daily, dating Daffy Duck during decent Decembers, Doris.
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5Amy decided the bone should be SEDUCED off. She left, returning in a bikini. Seeing Amy, the bone stiffened & popped off. It chased her a bit then paused for a cigarette & a nap.
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5lar, but judges couldn’t pick a winner in the intimate apparel category among the Speedo, a lacy Squidward brassiere, or a Sandy Cheeks thong. Patrick Star pasties were runner-up.
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3y would have succeeded, but they were not used to being on TV and ruined their chance to make a difference. They came across as shady, much like Nixon did in the debates with JFK.
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5wildlife sanctuary in the birdmobile. The egrets greeted us as heroes. All was going gangbusters until a Cook County Brownshirt appeared & commented, “Nice car!” “Get him!” yelled
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5The dog sat up. The thanks Mr. Barber offered was not enough; he wanted a treat. “Sorry, pooch, I got no food,” Mr. Barber said, turning around. Pissed, the dog bit him in the ass.
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4decided Uncle Horace’s hairy back did not need vacuuming…it just needed a shave. Next we debated whether a razor would do the trick, or whether we should shop for a lawn mower.
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3ike up the band as she boarded USS Bill Clinton, which was long and full of seamen. A wild time ensued: the deck was full of sailors at attention, hats hanging from their laps.
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3That one electric sheep getting zapped caused all the other closely packed sheep to get zapped too. The ballpark was full of sheep afire and clumps of wool flying everywhere. It wa
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4the pile of ash that was once Thich Quang Duc. “Thich, dear brother,” he said to the pile, “I know you were always a fan of Johnny Cash and ‘Ring of Fire,’ but self-immolation was
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5Custer was a bad choice to enforce order in the courtroom, what with that Little Bighorn thing he had been involved with. The bailiff suggested to the judge that Custer instead
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4sharks belly-up in the baptismal font. Not missing a beat, the priest quickly hauled them out and put them on ice. Borrowing the nuns’ station wagon he drove the iced sharks to the
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4The baron’s fatal heart attack didn’t go over well with the Bob Evans waitress who had served him all those biscuits. Now she would never get a decent tip. After the baron’s dead b
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4and Craftsman tools were all she cared about in the world. With the Sears closings Rhonda would have to get replacements for appliances and tools from Lowe’s, which she hated. What
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2card readings in the nude, which didn’t appeal to people who came into the occult shop seeking answers to questions like, “Will I find true love?” No, Daddy the Greek’s nude tarot
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4He never got the dog-food potpie because the guard checking for contraband got hungry and ate it, lock-picking tools and all. So the dog cooled his heels in jail for awhile, doing