9 Folds
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5
I loved that song, Hungry Eyes, back in the day when I used to look like Jeff Bridges. Nowadays, I look more like a raisin, But she still loves me, wrinkles and all -
4
He finally figured out how he could put his passive aggressive tendencies to use in a forum that he would find amusing. On Folding Story, he could get other people to make fun,
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6
"OH YEEEEESSSS!" said the portly Comic Con fan, as he approached a hairy Princess Leah look-alike. "I've got them moob's like Jabba... you wanna touch my belly?"
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7
Sheltie looked at Human square in the eye, and began the mind-meld. "Look into my eyes, you are getting very guilty, guilty because you have not give me the bacon."
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4
"I've been in this water for hours, and my eye sting," thought the baby rat, as he hung for life onto the Polaris hose. He looked up to see Giagantor and his wife Don't-Kill-It,
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6
"Don't Wake Me Except For Fighting, Fishing, or F_ _ _ ing", read the sleepmask. The small letters were embroidered in gold thread. "Bingo" had been crossed out and replaced with
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3
As the iPhone see-sawed to the bottom of the pool, her heart sank as every bubble rose. She cried out, like a little girl who dropped her dolly off of the Empire State Building, "
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4
"I have a fever" Said the Beaver Belonging to the blond. "Well I have a hurtin', in my meat curtain, "I got it from a lad 'cross the pond."
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5
All I could think about was the shovel and the chainsaw in the trunk. "...and remember the time you..." She's not wearing a seatbelt, I thought. I could drive into the median and
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4
stared as I proclaimed, ""By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged! For the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many and the few!"
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4
was starting to take an interesting turn. The sphinx smiled and wiped the drool from her chin with her tail, and flipping it like a cat, her tail cracked like a whip.
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5
to put the noodle in the poodle, if you know what I mean. But what would it cost him, he wondered. Maybe a coupon for lipo? Kim looks pretty hot right NOW, butt she's gonna need
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3
slid onto his lap and started signing "Hungry Eyes", making a parody and singing softly in my ear "Hungry Thighs, one look at you and I can't disguise, I've got hungry thighs,
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5
next Meatball, but with more than just one hot chick to sing with. 'Paradise By The Dashboard Lights' played on the console TV/stereo 8-track. The strong bass tones vibrated
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5
But he didn't mind. He was fond of his big brother, who toussled his hair with oil stained fingers when he would stop working in order to play catch, or send him on a mission
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5
cient we are!" The cat looked at the dog with disgust. "I cough up hairballs because it comes with the territory of grooming. You eat shit because you are... a dog?"
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5
(Man, I need to quit drinking so much... even my thoughts are slurring.) The bumper sticker read, "Karma's only a bitch if you are." Nice. No wonder his back bumper is caved
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4
Pete, I need to get the peeps together. But don't tell bunny. Have everyone meet me behind the HiLo at 3, and be sure to bring the duct tape, blanket, and kitty litter.
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4
I wish my grandmother was here. She'd know what to do. Tomato Soup, Ritz Crackers, Grilled Cheese on White Bread, and a cold cloth for my forehead. The teapot whistled in the
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5
Damn microwave. The TV dinner was burnt on the outside, and the meat-loaf was a meat-sickle. The corn shriveled and freezer burnt, the potato cold sawdust. Was that a brownie?