Finished Folds (341—360)
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5"Everything has a color." Child: "Why?" Adult: "This isn't a post-racial utopia." Child: "Why not?" Adult: "Uhhh, why don't we change the subject?" Child: "No!" Adult: "Why not?"
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2No one puts my ideas into practice, which is good. I'm sick of perfect ideas being proven wrong by "applications." So, when I say idle things like, "The best way to please women is
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8I'd take headphones over a concert any day, but dad wanted me to get a realer metal concert experience. A black blur, he entered my room violently enough to break the mosh barrier.
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1Mia wrote out daily schedules solely for the thrill of scribbling over them. As an agent of minor chaos, such was her way of life. Unfolding a sock could start a chain reaction of
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1Besides carpet burn, this is what happens when you spend it all in one place, at one time, on one woman.
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5Margins in art textbooks are intended for doodles, not notes. As "Italia: Dove i Nudi Sono Grandi" was handed down annually, its stunning pen collaboration outstripped "David" and
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0-s ascended in his cute li'l space suit to kill axe thief Jean Dubois, and I got my money back from the locksmith who built my sister a faulty chastity belt. Squawkers judo chopped
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2I placed the dollar ashes in a lavish urn on the mantle. Sure enough, big Ben Franklin rose like a phoenix and shattered my urn. How am I supposed to buy a new one with ash money?
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1I played it for Him again, but it's like God isn't listening. "Daft Punk has tapped into the cosmic computers that run reality, man-spawn," God said. "Now excuse me while I kiss th
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2"I can't tell if that's sexual or just cute, but okay," I said. The carny gave me a ticket and showed me to a secret back tent with a stage and raucous fans. Back-tent displays
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3Log Update: The bees have congregated in a husky conic structure. I will scatter them with my power warsher and procure the honey. My scout badge in Dispersion Tactics will inspire
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4Take Your Dog To Work Day was my least favorite day of the fiscal quarter. I knew Joey was adept at finalizing mergers, but walking Joey was my only exercise. He and Rich must be
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5ever. After all, FACT: my raw crustacean power is too great for any toenail. Upon settling out of court with Dr. Scholl's now-toeless dog, I'll give Indian Chiefdom another try.
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4Stan chose Antarctica for the seal gigging and a change in climate. But when Stan left Hell, he forgot to close the Gate! Earth's resorts were overrun by the cutest wittle demons
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6When you live on a farm, every passing car's a big deal, but this car was even more so. We could smell the land developer stench a half mile away. Protocol for these types mandated
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3My stubborn independence wasn't safe here. Reality hires too many impetuses of change to plot against me (stimuli, my ex, etc.). I curled up in a box with my cat, Li'l Schrödy, and
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3"On tonight's news, the commissioner of baseball declares war, terror lurks in every shadow, and SHARKS." Crap, I forget to recycle just once, then the world goes haywire. I had to
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2Do you ever hear about someone messing with the right guy? What's the ratio of right guys to wrong guys messed with? I'm just trying to feel out the odds before I go messing with
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2"I see your point and raise you a counterpoint: you are a massive doo-doo head." Debate Club had gone to the dogs. I quietly padded my résumé in the corner, sipping a soda.
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3He kicked over a rat sarcophagus. "That'll trip 'em up," he said. After taking a pickaxe to the sewer floor, he slid down the new hole along with the sewage. Each authority tripped