Finished Folds (361—380)
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1was an accident waiting to happen, in that her conception was an accident and she was about to happen. Magenta pushed Violet out, but "Violet" was orange. Daddy Indigo figured out
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3Not every character can last as long as Janet Leigh's in 'Psycho'. Life is a fickle thing. Why, just the other... *whoosh* *dodge* ha, nice try, Ninja ...day, scientists reanimated
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4he'd been the only person who held her to beauty standards above "drowned rat," something like "a shape with a pulse." Now she could let herself go. Her scalp was coated with sebum
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4live on through it, lest he die a second time. The post-modern-or-something-or-other ground beef was mashed into the plywood walls, but the hard shells weren't. His passion seeped
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5I prefer holding a mirror to these types, a bathroom mirror with fluorescent lighting that exposes their every flaw. What fools they are to get my attention. Aspersions, I cast ye!
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3The problem was that he was my best friend. In the friend zone we were doomed to wander together yet apart, lost. I filled his bowl and gave him a platonic scratch behind the ear.
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3and joined the immortals for dinner. "What's on the menu, Beelzebob? I brought my own spoon." "Oh, Stan, we're out of room. You'll have to pull up a kiddy table." The soul du jour
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4and riding them?" "Don't forget selectively breeding them." Shug dropped his horsewhip. "Selectively? That's where I draw the line. Horses deserve true love if not other things."
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3would not be raised. "If you can't raise the bar, be the man I deserve and make yourself high brow. Quickly!" He raised his eyebrows. "Ow, my face muscles." "Push through it, puush
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3the Limburger and onion sandwich with chives, a potent-enough blend to linger on through the afterlife. There's nothing like an eternal flavor blast to mask the guilt of patricide.
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1Faithful, remind me why I keep you." "I manage your fantasy team, tell jokes, and have a dashing mug, boss." "Don't you forget it, Mr. Faithful." The secretary threw herself at Mr.
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4I too lived in a back alley. Ahhh, pufferfish. Mom used to say that poison builds character. Not her character, apparently, but it worked wonders for mine. I even call her every
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6battle scar. "Roller derby is rough. That chick had an axe in her sports bra." Crickets. My torso was tan, but I might as well've been a ghost at this party. Would a sword wound
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2force fed geese for a french restaurant. "I see you in the pond with no shirt on, Mr. Goose. Hahaha eat corn." Now, as a chunky male 40-something with no prospects and a bad liver,
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5roundtable debate, even though round wasn't invented yet. "We must save those species evolution delegates to us," said Ugg. "The Squawkopeteri needs our epigeneticist's rain dance
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5I pulled out of my ass. How about you have Rectum Ralph as your mascot? Research shows that kids prefer proctologists with cartoon logos in the window, as opposed to credentials or
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3"Looks like freebasing isn't for everyone," said Marion Barry. All he asked was for Santa to bring him some powder snow this Christmas. Marion put Santa's body in the closet. Maids
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5and none of their eyes. The button flew off of Wanda's blouse and hit Ace in the head, despite her warning. Ace stuck out his tongue. "Watch your tongue," Wanda said all naked-like
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4"Did I see you in Mexico?" "Jes." "In English?" "Yes." "Did you take my ice cream?" "¡No!" "In English?" "No!" "Do you like roller coasters?" "Ouiiii." "In English?" "Yes." "20 Q's
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3-ny and was quick to wipe Cheetos crumbs from his Fufu Manchu. Still, Peter Cottontail raised the bar for diabetes to "frequently crapping Cadbury Cremes." Some human egg poachers