Finished Folds (501—520)
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9With consummate ease he put the lime in the coconut. Across the room, his rival had just succeeded in putting the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-shomp. Meanwhile, in Rio, the
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6the Elixir of Life. That and a stash of Fruit Rollups, three bottle caps from Mr. Pibb bottles and a spare fuse or two in case the headlights on the horse went out again. Wait,
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4a brain. A second brain would be just so handy, you know - one could do your algebra homework while the other was wrapped up gazing at all the lovely breasts in the world.
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8Happy at last to be leaving Vermont, Dave was stunned to find that ten feet beyond the state line, the road ended in a grove of pine trees, not a smidgen of asphalt to be seen for
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3So the Thing was sorely disappointed when it realized that this planet had actually already been taken over by the Pod People. What use was hiding as a duplicate of someone else
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1The rather dumpy-looking blonde at the end of the bar spoke in the awkward silence. "In the 80's I starred in Disney's ultra-secret, first-and-only porn, "Honey, I Blew Up Uranus"
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5I dreamed again of my former life as a groupie for the Fixx. Ah, the hair, the clothing, the music - so bad! So God-awful bad!
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7to grow hydroponic tomatoes, squash, beans and corn in the old missile silos. All she needed was vast amounts of water, nutrients, seeds and sunshine, all of which had perished.
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6Subtle fluctuations in the timeline identified 153 Elm Lane, Scrutom, NJ, 1996, 12:53 pm as the exact time and place where
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4"Remember when mom thought my stash really was oregano and made Chicken Parmesan with it? I can't believe the minister kept snorting that milk through his nose. And who knew
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3As President Obama waved at the cheering crowd, Mitt Romney's form seemed to bulge and melt. Suddenly, his face split open, revealing a toothed maw and six waving tentacles, aimed
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7When I was a kid I thought there were Cuddlefish - really comfortable fish you could sleep with at night - and that an Octopus was a cat with eight heads. Boy, was I sorely
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2Kasey had this great idea for a restaurant - the International Space Station would release cows into the atmosphere and the heat of reentry would cook them to tender perfection.
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2"Perhaps" the professor droned on, "on another Earth the War of Northern Aggression might have been lost by the Glorious South - but of course that is nothing but pure poppycock."
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2Initially he had thought the shrink ray was a lame invention, but when he realized he could shrink whole cows and sautee them in a little butter and garlic, he realized the true
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2"These are links of pure magnesium, forged by the Dwarf Lords of old for our bravest warriors to fight the fiery Balrog that lurks within the mines-" "Wait" interrupted Fluffums,
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2KFC. There had been a close call during the rivalry game with the Alvarado Armadillos, when, following the sound of clucking, he had been rounded up by chicken poachers & nearly
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5"Timmy," Ms. Turner said irately into the phone wedged precariously into her sequined way-too-short gown. " I left a good job in the city, working for the man every night 'n day -
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3Conditions were right for the diatom takeover of the world. Feverishly building their silicate shells, countless trillions of diatoms began to converge upon the populated centers
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4At 11;47 am on a Tuesday, all the mimes in the world stopped in their tracks and began to migrate to New Zealand. Thousands drowned on the sea-leg of their journey, puddles of