Finished Folds (521—540)
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6After untold centuries, Taco Bell finally ran out of creative ways to repackage dog food, bad queso and nachos and began to branch out into French cuisine. Le Damn Bell Sans Merci
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4I turned the corner to find a ravenous horde of undead staring back at me with black, lusterless eyes. A tumbleweed picked that moment to pass by as I dropped my ice cream cone
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5I wanted a pudding pop but, every time I went to get one, the ghostly visage of Bill Cosby rose up before me. The same thing happened with Toaster Strudel - all I could think of
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6Dear Landlord: It seems like ages since we last spoke. The puddle of unknown liquid that is dripping from my living room ceiling has spread now to the bedroom, right over my bed,
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3So I quit my job then and went back on the road. I managed to land a gig here and there, none lasting more than a few day news. I blew into a town, played my set, made love to
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1a fan formation, As one they converged upon the stunned mujahideen, crawling up pants' legs, each lemming clutching a grenade, pin freshly pulled.
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6stray cats and watch them lick it off their fur. Sometimes I spread it on myself and go looking for large cats to lick it off MY fur - I like to change things up, it keeps life
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2actually kind of liked it, until one morning he woke up to a statue of Liza Minnelli fondling his right butt cheek lovingly. It all went downhill from there - what wouldn't end up
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4aimed at keeping my poo inside me. I dared move no more - the slightest twitch could cause me to lose focus AND bowel control. With superhuman will I fought back the urge to soil
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5There really was a house that ate children in my neighborhood. Every year, two or three would disappear, always around the same house, always around the month of November, right
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1It was my junior year in high school when the problems really started. Up until then I had been able to control my urge to mate, but when I encountered the school mascot that
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5Fish were falling from the sky - specifically haddock, though it was reported that one house down the lane had been covered in squid instead. It was July in Scrumpy, Georgia, so
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0I reached out with my mind and subtly milked the endocrine glands of the kid next to me in lab, causing a surge of adrenaline to flow throughout his body. With a mighty jerk, he
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5Sal initially wanted to open an "Ancient Roman" themed restaurant, but when the backers got whiff of his plans for "Dormice Poppers" and learned that everything would be covered in
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4So I wanted fight crime of course, but since the spinnerets grew in a more accurate location than on my hands, I didn't dare - no one wants to be rescued by someone who shoots webs
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4Sixty pounds of squirrels empirically weighs sixty pounds, of course, but when you are freighted with the burden of knowing you have slain that many rodents in one afternoon with a
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5The news anchor then said with a chuckle, "And on the lighter side of the news today, local space-time began to inflate at breakneck speeds today in a small town in Indiana today,
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3"I think I picked up Albus Dumbledore at the bar last night" exclaimed Frank out of the blue. "He showed me some pretty naughty wand tricks and kept refilling my drinks for free."
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4The chunk of antimatter floated in its magnetic containment unit, hovering ominously in as near a vacuum as I could get. Still, stray gamma rays from the occasional annihilation
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3"Well I'll be damned" swore Mr. Fitzgerald, my high-school physics teacher. "There really are a multitude of angels dancing on the head of this pin."