Finished Folds (541—560)
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2The thick, tea-dark water bubbled ominously as Jenna dipped her toe into it. "I don't know, Josh" she said, nervously looking back at her boyfriend on the trash-strewn beach, "I'm
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4Taking off his thick librarian glasses, loosening the top few buttons of his shirt, and spinning in a circle a la Lynda Carter, John was amazed to find that he was indeed able to
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5"The Joy of Sex and Cooking" recommends Buttercream Frosting as they best and smoothest of the food lubes.
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2In an effort to improve their brand image, the Mormon Church took some suspect advice from a PR firm and began to dress their missionaries as Lord of the Rings characters. It was
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5They holed up in the shack as best they could, and listened fearfully for the sound of claws on the door & roof. Father Mike blessed their sole weapon, a t-shirt gun - the damned
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3People flocked from as far as Caledonia County every year to see the returning of the nuns to convent. Excitement would swell as someone would spot the first one, winging her way
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3When the Elder Gods moved in to the vacant house on Cherry Lane, Mable Klump had been the first brave soul to welcome them, cheesy broccoli casserole in hand. Her sanity blasted
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7are broadcast every 371/2 aeons from Eternity Central, carried by the eldest members of now-defunct civilizations across the universe, lovingly wrapped in Elder God hide and set
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1Taco Smell, and Pizza Slut, the unholy trifecta of flatbread tastelessness in the Five Shires. The ensuing court battle was an epic one, involving millions of witless witnesses,
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3a town in Kentucky AND France - Strike That - the average speed of a human sneeze is...WAIT - why were random factoids gushing from my mouth like logorheic effluvia? I turned off
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6The day he beat Diablo III for the 1,000th time, Satan appeared and offered him his right-hand man position. It seems that, at least to the Prince of Darkness, killing video game
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1all the oil in the Emirates. And he'll get it too - one look at those dimples and those baby blues and emirs will be signing over oil wells left and right. That's why I hate him.
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1Filet of Soul, smothered in regret, on a bed of angel hair pasta. Would you like to look at our whine menu? The "It's Not Fair" sauvignon blanc would go nicely with the special."
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2A severed zombie head lay in the field next to him, moaning "brains' breathlessly to itself. To his right, a fiery jet of magma shot into the air, pooling in a small kitchen sink.
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4The marzipan animals on the young boy's birthday cake came to life that night.
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4and neighboring Kiwi Hobbitland, but no one there ever paid attention to royal decrees anymore, since they seceded and became sovereign nations of their own. In fact, it became a
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6". The judge, however, was not impressed with my argument, and sentenced me to 2 years hard labor on a penal asteroid in the Denobian cluster, where my only relief would be to
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5She had never complained about my empty eye socket, nor the fingers on my left hand fused into one by the propane explosion. Hell, she even liked my vestigial tail, when everyone
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2In retrospect, the idea of glass toilet paper, while appealing in some respects, perhaps was not of his more thought-out inventions, nor had the sandpaper variety caught on as much
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4Privately he felt that the world would be much better off if humanity were a race of androgynous, hermaphroditic, caramel-skinned dwarves, but publicly, he held fast to the ideal