Finished Folds (341—360)
-
4. Dig your gravesite, do it now...do it now...do it now...do it now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow.... I woke up with a massive headache with the voice echoing painfully through my skull.
-
8ed message across the mannequin's plastic buttocks that revealed the whole truth and nothing butt the truth: You'll have nightmares if you eat fried bologna sandwiches at bedtime.
-
5. British phum pho was my absolute favorite, an exotic fusion of sweet-n-sour Vietnamese cuisine combined with hearty English sweetmeats. Then I crushed some Doritos into my pho.
-
2through a maze of canvas, smelling intoxicatingly of elephant dung & cotton candy. It was soon pitch dark. I bumped into the Carney's back. "We've arrived," he said mysteriously &
-
4' the jig & singin' at the top of his lungs. So merry was he that ev'ry one of us there at the pub couldn't help but foller him. An' 'foller him we did, right out the door & into
-
8One night, when I was sitting outside on my porch chugging down another Iron City, the sky curtains drew back. A hand came down from the sky & pointed to the east. So I got up &
-
6mother needed some new armchair covers & well, you know I would do anything for Mom." Dad was pissed. I'd betrayed him. Plus, I'd forgotten to mow the lawn like he'd asked.
-
4"Ehh?" she replied. "Speak a little louder, sonny, I'm a bit hard o' hearin'!" "ELEPHANT BELLS!" the Captain shouted in her ear. "No thank you," she said & went back to sleep.
-
5The children sat there with their eyes wide, unsure what to say. Tommy spoke up. "Well then, where DO babies come from?" I was expecting this question, of course, and explain that
-
4stinkin' awful no-good great big fat liar. With friends like Brutus, who needs enemies? Caesar's dying words would go down in history, but at least he had a salad named after him.
-
3their haste to see firsthand the blood, the gore, the brains splattered across the sidewalk. Sirens, flashing lights. Officer Shaunessey stepped out of his cruiser & sauntered over
-
6give it up. He wouldn't! His wife told him he had to bring home the bacon & that was exactly what he intended to do. Porky glanced in his rearview mirror.Security was still chasing
-
1off when they pledged the same fraternity. Very angry amphibians, Frog and Toad were. Angry at the world, but stuffing their feelings under a benign facade. After graduating, they
-
10n. Homo-sapien." The other cavemen laughed & pointed. "HOMO sapien!" they taunted. Zood's rainbow colored spear was a dead giveaway. "Neanderthals! All of them!" Zood decided. Evol
-
5the gooey goodness from my chin. We were hippos for a reason and this was the reason: We were addicted to chocolate. We ate it all day long and this cake was the BEST I ever ate.
-
9"I know that," her husband said. "But don't you think your lack of a vagina might be a problem in our relationship? You should have talked to me before having that operation."
-
4erness was a self-delusion. Oh my god. I'm not clever after all! I'm a cleaver! And that's why you have a splitting headache.
-
2"It's a celebration for you, my friend. In your honor!" a glowing skull chattered by the light of a spinning disco ball. "Welcome to your party! Your party... that never ends."
-
3we finished the bottle of wodka, I was all wookie wookie wookie. Wooo-Wooooo! I weally didn't care about anywing or anywody anywore. Woderich either. Burp. Wheeee! Wump Wump Wump.
-
4me as the POSSIBLE murderer. MAYBE I did it, MAYBE I didn't, but one thing I knew for sure. I wasn't a hobo anymore.I had a nice warm place to sleep & food for the rest of my life.