Finished Folds (21—40)
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4The only thing I could think to do was shoot him with my epi pen. Big mistake. The little moaning man was apparently allergic to epi pens. He collapsed & moaned louder. SH*T! Now
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5over the fence and waited. Not 2 minutes passed before there was a knock on the door. I opened it. "Is this yours?" my neighbor, Lenny, asked, showing me the severed head.
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3I scratched my crotch absentmindedly. Was there something about me that was off-putting to others? I farted. I decided to redefine myself on Facebook. I took a new selfie & posted
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3The Artist Formerly Known As Prince and now known again as Prince happened to live next door to him & they became best friends, living out their lives in relative obscurity.
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6my evil plan to destroy the world. But now the only world that was destroyed was my own. I sobbed in self-pity in the gutter, homeless & hopeless. All I had left was my thermos.
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4"We ain't picky round here. I like 'em BBW." said Sloppy Joe. Ma Bell blushed all the way up to her dark roots. Her fat chin wobbled with emotion. "Finally I found someone who
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15the grate-n-powerfool Gizzard. 'Pears to me dat you could use some hep, too." So the sceerdy lion joined in wid the rest & ambled on down da yeller brick road. When dey came to
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4were just not, uh, comfortable. So we were forced to go to Plan C: Making nice with the aliens by hosting an ice cream social in the city park. Mundane & unimaginative, yes, but
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11the sudden? I felt dizzy. I could hear the groceries laughing at me as I staggered down Aisle 8. I bumped into a tampon display, knocking them loose from their boxes.
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4Famous last words. I woke up, ice cold, strapped to a...a table...of some kind. It's damp and dark. I could hear scurrying feet beneath me. "WHY DID TAKE THAT LAST BITE?" a voice
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4twirled it on my finger nonchalantly. Marcus' face told the whole story. He backed away from me, slowly. "Where ya goin', Marcus, old buddy, old pal?" I asked, my gun now level.
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3I folded my fold...smugly. Who does he think he is anyway? Does he know who he's dealing with? I no more have a superiority complex than he has a
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1appetite and a nice sausage in his hand. "Sausage for breakfast. Why not?" Emily laughed, forgiving Brian's stupidity. "I'll slice it up." Brian's blank face told her that he never
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4placated her. I'd never shared that recipe with anyone before. It was a family secret. I realized my mistake. Now I would have to marry ol' Martha to keep it in the family. Dammit!
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4"Oh YOU," Olivia cried. "You're making fun of me! You're verbally abusing me!" It was then I noticed her T-shirt. It said "Keep Calm and Trust Jesus." "Oh no, I didn't mean..." I
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55: a longer vacation would also be nice. You said you'd give me the desires of my heart, right God? 6: Also, please do something about Rodney in the next cubicle. He bugs the hell
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2down on the 18-wheelers passing through on the interstate.The rocks mostly just bounced off, but finally one truck wrecked & overturned. Thousands of donuts rolled into the desert.
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4tried not to drool as she struggled to put on the red lace top. Her lily while fat rolls called out to me. "Uh, a little help here?" she gasped. I yanked the lace over her head &
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9unconditionally. Oh no. I had conditions and plenty of them. My sea monkeys would shape up and ship out as soon as possible. Then I would get myself a brood pouchectomy.
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3, with both hands clapped over his ears, he just started running without looking. Then there was that moment of realization...the moment he was suspended in mid-air before he fell.