Finished Folds (81—100)
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5a sexy little number that I bought from chastitybelts.com. It was my favorite shade of copper, studded with rubies and spikes lest anyone get the wrong idea. My present to myself.
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5Tilly delighted in tormenting him, dancing nakedly about him drenched in honey and flour like some living confection. She'd get right in his face and tease, "I'm not touching you!"
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2was growing larger by the day. She tried to ignore it. That hole had always been there, hadn't it? But the void began to consume more and more until there was more hole than wall.
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1almost as often as his own. He loved himself more than any woman could. His narcissism made him careless. Still, he shouldn't have rejected Belinda "the Bad Witch." She cursed him
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3"Sliding down the pole" took on a whole new meaning in the firehouse and the two men would wink at one another over dinner, sharing their own private joke.
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1Some neighbors whispered that Archie's heart condition had worsened since he married Fran and started eating her dinners. She did like to season with arsenic to "spice things up."
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2point a lost driver back to the highway in his CHP uniform. But upon closer inspection, the outfit actually belonged to CHIPS Security. Eric Estrada was milking that nostalia.
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4Or maybe it was the other way around - Abe liked his beer busty and his women hoppy? Honestly, it could go either way. Abe's a strange fellow. Like the time he
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2if there are two things you should know about Santa, it's 1. he's a sadistic bastard, and 2. he loves his coffee.
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3She was the star of the freak show circuit with lobster claws for arms. The show owners pressed for the stage name of Lobster Girl, but she knew better. She was Sandy Claws.
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1for me. I really wanted a free tray of Colby Jack for my cocktail party, but on this particular day, I was pantless and thus, my request was invalid. Curse my dirty laundry!
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2Besides which, these were the infamous carnivorous termites. Pinocchio noticed that he remained intact, the insects swarming over him in disinterest. So much for suicide by
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3liberally. I invoke illiteration intentionally in illustrating instances in immense imbroglio, instead insisting individuals indulge intense idiosyncrasies. Illogical, is it?
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3It was a futile attempt, filing a restraining order against a space alien. Kelly was relieved when his spaceship was missing, but he was using a black copter on whisper mode now
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2was born without taste buds. Sometimes it was a blessing, as when she had to eat her brussel sprouts. But most times, Debra lamented her lack of taste of any kind, including
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5That's right, he was into sex with furniture. It wasn't my business... until he turned up on the evening news. Now everyone would know about his affair with the loveseat. Mortified
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2I realized that I had fallen asleep again while watching Inception. Thank god, it wasn't really blood after all. I laughed nervously. Right?? Who was I talking to? Was I asleep?
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1up her old copy of Speed. Wait. Wasn't "need for speed" from Top Gun? She shrugged. The hard questions were ruining her mj-induced high. So she put on Martha Stewart instead.
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6He wanted to sit in the Oval Office & eat McDonald's. He wanted to yell obscenities to his neighbor & hide behind claims of free speech. But mostly, he just wanted to leave China.
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2since he was attempting to animate his videos in MS Word. Frustrated, he vowed his soul to the Dark Lord in exchange for flash animation that actually worked. He was determined to