Finished Folds (2141—2160)
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4an easterly direction. Obviously to pick up radio signals! The 'tender looked me in the eyeballs, its pupils whirring in and out as it tried to lock onto my fuzzy form. I'm notorio
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5discover the meaning of everything. This made the Omexites a little self-satisfied. If anyone told them, for example, where they'd gone on holiday, they'd say, "Oh, we went there w
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3to ride with me on the SUICIDE TRAIN on Southwold Pier. Upsidedown, the car spiralled off the track & into the icy North Sea. My girlfriend sacked me before she'd even hit the wate
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10, being figments of my overwrought imagination, never irritate me because I can always switch them off. My FS imaginary friends all live in a big house, saying witty & erudite
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4Cranberry the Cat ate Dolly the Duckling with some apple sauce. Damian the Dog ate Cranberry the Cat with Dijon mustard. Felix the Fox ate Damian the Dog with celeriac remoulade
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1The title of my story is 'What I Did in the Holidays'. Nothing.
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3Please please please don't mention New Zealand in the following story.
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7e is a giant bruise in the shape of Jared Leto's foot. Hilarious with vodka. Without vodka it just hurts. Jared bloody Leto has got a lot to answer for. If I ever meet Jared Leto I
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5He stared at his broken guacamole and the rage rose and poured out all over the dinner table and there was Joe and Mark stood up and the table crashed and broken guacamole went all
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1darkness itself, the jungles of the Congo basin. Leonardo thought that the merry tunes of the marching band might cheer up the warring factions in the worst civil war in recent
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4berry gateau, a Siamese speciality. We managed to squish the cake up enough to stuff between the lovers' fused lips. But what about their 5 a day? Oh God, the carrot caused some te
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6language when he grounded me. In fact, that resulted in a pay cut. But my fake dad retaliated by bringing in a fake gran to give me a right telling off & then sending me the bill!
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8back Transylvania to meet the undead folks. New Mrs Acula met mum, Princess Cneajna & dad, Vlad II. But when she clapped eyes on bro, Radu the Handsome, Dr Acula felt uneasy. She
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2the mysteries of the small. Mason grabbed chalk & covered a blackboard in complicated sums. He couldn't help it, he was a genius! Non-Euclidean geometry & the tango collided
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4if not, I want to complain." "Are you using the applicator provided?" asked the nurse. "No," he replied, "the dog ate it. I'm using an old wire brush I dug up in the garden.
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3Although I ain't too proud to beg. I went to the plastic surgeon & showed him my nose. I thought time was on my side but she told me it wasn't going to fade away. I died during sur
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8My spaniel, Birdy, loves me very very much. But if she could find a way of doing it without getting told off, then she'd eat me all up. I have no illusions about this whatsoever
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2I have no strength to keep my eyelids open and no willpower to stop it happening all over again. The dragonflies are here again and they're no longer blue.
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4pouch and firked around inside. "Here, sniff these beans & then tell me that you aren't gagging for a cup," Croc Bot growled. The intern blushed and the aroma transported her to a
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3holiday camp on the banks of the Vltava. Every morning the doctor would 'check' the camp inmates before 60 minutes of physical jerks followed by cold showers and potato dumplings.