Finished Folds (3001—3015)
-
6Suddenly, the Giant poked his head through the cloud. 'Excuse me,' he muttered, 'but at this point in the story you're supposed to chop down the beanstalk. Do you need an axe?'
-
4I rose up, enraged, and transformed into an impossibly beautiful dragon. I sparkled! I roared! My name was Death and I knew how to walk that walk. Chris blanched and fainted.
-
3with his pants down in the bingo hall holding a false license plate. It was an awkward moment but Mayor Oldsmobile pulled it off with his usual panache. Al Tima was livid.
-
2ng balls. She was exhausting. I got only one day off in 10 and she made me wear the red stilettos - you know, the ones that make you look too tall because they've got 5 inch heel
-
7all I needed was for the lemurs to show some small amount of cooperation. But they flung themselves off the edge of my desk every time I got near. I needed some way to tie them
-
4pretended not to understand what he was saying. 'Typical,' he thought, spitting her fist out with a few teeth. He'd only come in to borrow a tin of anchovies. His pizza would be
-
5and got a Hollywood movie deal, satirising our neighbour's incest filled life. The irony being that, off the back of that, he became a porno star, leaving me bereft.
-
3hosed her down as best they could. They tried to smuggle Ellen out of the stage door stuffed into a yellow crate, but her loud swearing was too much of a clue to what was happenin
-
1Lovely coat. The Minotaur did his best to mingle with his guests, but his terrifying bellowing just led to confusion and panic amongst the assembled Cretans.
-
5Tears ran down Alphonsa's face leaving sooty tracks of mascara. She looked out of the window and the sound of the neighbour's dog barking rang in her head. She couldn't think.
-
4ow the green land turned into shimmering sea. The balloon, with Annie inside, lost altitude and finally sank and started bobbing on the surface. A shark snapped at the balloon an
-
4Squawkers was amazed at how well Canadians understood English - it was as if they had spoken it all of their lives. They didn't eat burgers, though, but towers of shuddering squid.
-
3Silvio gave a small hiss and caught the next tram to Croyden Central, a dismal journey only requiring Silvio to co-ordinate his skin with shades of grey and the colour of despair.
-
4lovingly inserted into the envelope containing his extortionate invoice. I wanted to find another dentist but no one understood my incisors like he did and caressed my molars with
-
5decomposing badger. Elmer grabbed me by the shoulder and pointed a quivering finger towards a heap of rags on the ground. Something was writhing beneath them.