Finished Folds (2321—2340)
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6"Don't leave me hanging - Chad. I want to be your Laureate - bad. So the hot African sun. Can warm my right bun. And when I roll over. The left one." Mr Tomato, Chad Laureate, flew
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5sun drenched water. Each follicle warbled in praise. My scalp was humming with tiny chants. My hair writhed Medusa-like in glee. I was so happy for my hair that I burst into tears
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3"I've got a supply of near pure Afghani Tofurky. The NA wine is sourced." "Come on Danny," I whooped, " out of the wheelchair and onto the rodeo pony." But he fell off. "Eat som
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4. He bought a dog whistle keyboard which was engineered to convey political messages to small mutts. Heplayed some Bach & Bonaparte, his Bassett, started to write an anti-cat pamph
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6for eating a live golden hamster baguette on stage. The other members of Seamount never got over the heart rending squeaks. Capt Muddymuddskipper hauled in his net crammed with cod
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5at the altar of trans fats. The Empire of Elvis sent hounddog class space ships to Heartbreak Hotel, the alien space station on the dark side of the moon. The invasion of Earth was
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7a creepy doll called Lord Hawhaw. The audience were amazed when Lord Hawhaw spoke, no hands, while his ventriloquist was propped up at the bar. Then the doll spoke about Stalingrad
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4. Tommy Tiptoe loved long distance running. He'd lace up his trainers & jog to his other wife's house & back in time for cocoa. His 'cocoa' wife thought if she took running, sh
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2oven hoof pressing down on my chest. It was his nanny goat Grizelda. Conditions in the yard were too hellish for her & she wanted to sleep with me on an ongoing basis. I pulled
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2was so noisy. It was full of girls wanting to have fun. But there's a dark side to Funky Town. I met one of the girls wandering shoeless. "Last night a DJ saved my life," she stutt
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6forcing them to eat snail porridge until they were sick. So Blumenthal's staff got their revenge by serving Cleveland Steamer as a starter. But the reviews for the soup were rave
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7. I was fascinated by how she could be peevish & giggly at the same time. I giggled with her but then she gave me a sour look. "Why the mixed messages?" I asked exasperatedly
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4Ellg Thun took Chu Chu the iguana for a stroll in the park. They were rounding the Albert Memorial when a confection of diamanté & teeth attacked with force. Chumpy the chihuahua
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6value when you make your friend laugh so hard she leaks a little. There isn't a pelvic floor made which can withstand the punishment meted out by my story about the time I mistook
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10started to flicker and then I saw blood running down the inside of the screen. It ran through the wire to the computer. The disc drive sprang opened & blood gushed over my cubicle
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4"Anne," Jayden said through gritted teeth, "I wish you'd made your gender clear before I bought us the tickets on the Men Only Cruise to Mykonos." "I can't lie to you any longer,"
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6street. I swept you off you feet. I put you in my cellar. I'm that kind of fella. It's called Cleveland dating. Or reluctant mating..." Luckily in this story her fairy godmother
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1in Azealia's head. Well this was a conundrum as I'd just asked her to be my bride. "Tupac, scram outta my fiancée's head, if you please. We have plans." Tupac hunkered down even
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5Charlotte & got out her 'Anti-venom for Kidz'. She made a poultice of flour, 7-up and nutella & put it on the bite. The poison was sucked out & Wilbur's bacon was saved once again.
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3attention by dropping his trousers and performing the chicken dance. Amanda intoned 'I'm too sexy' in a whumpawhumpawhumpa way. The President squealed. He hadn't had so much fun si