Finished Folds (2441—2460)
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4Yesterday my geriatric Mom called collect from Ghana. She'd met & married an 18 year old local called Kwesi & was now pregnant as she'd been eating powerful herbal infertility leav
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4asked them, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, if they could give him directions to Poland as he wanted to start World War 2. Rolf & Jack got in the Messerschmitt with Hitler and
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4wn joke might help. "A prawn went clubbing. He pulled a mussel." Not a titter. They got out a bucket of mustard, covered her & tucked napkins under their chins. The lunch bell rang
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6As well as vacuuming me, my enemy Windex's my face. But what's really annoying is she beeswaxes my knees. So when I kneel, they shoot out from under me. As a trainee priest, this
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4? I knew why I was moving slower. As my legs trebled with each step, by the time I'd reached the end of the street I was covered in legs. These legs were also covered in legs all m
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3comics and my English teacher was too shortsighted to spot me. Another enjoyable aspect of English was that it was in a ground floor room & I could climb out of the window once I'd
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1When I put my photo (message) in your mailbox (emotions etc.) sometimes I forget to put a stamp (intention) on or it gets lost in the post or I put it in my bag & find it crumpled
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5. I keep asking Mother Africa to not stick her post-it notes & memos on my face and other skin because: 1) I can't see; 2) I'm allergic to the glue; 3) drawing pins bloomin' hurt.
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2"Don't need to ask twice!" chortled Lady Pharoe as she squeezed her voluptuous form into the booth with him. "I'll have a supersize double choc." Mr Mandalay licked his cone while
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6which is pretty good going for a cocker spaniel, what with the inbreeding issues. If I'm honest, the older and smellier that Bubbles got, the harder it was to even like her. Tolera
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2... Oh no! Bridezilla noticed and, reaching for the nearest person, tore his head off. I'm a trained Wedding Planner, so I said brightly, "We're in the market for a new best man!"
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4It was when Mr Grey, a classics teacher, got a job at a girls boarding school that he developed his nervous twitch.
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7from Mr Golightly's neck. The yoga sensei told us to break the Double Happy Gerbil pose as Mr Golightly was turning blue. Suddenly, 'It's Not Unusual' came belting out in stereo. D
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4Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding. Ding. Ding-a-ling.
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6to wriggle & jiggle & wiggle. He was wriggling & jiggling & wiggling when a sparrow plucked him from the leaf he was glued to! Brock the Pupa wriggled & jiggled & wiggled while
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2that Ben Bernanke was to be lead singer of One Direction. And the hair gelled muppets would lend much needed 'direction' to managing the Deficit. The Escargot wouldn't predict
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2if they can't ski again. It's a stupid pastime careering down a slippery slope without brakes. At that point a Great Slathering Hound leapt on me & ripped off my right leg. Suddenl
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8Excellent. The latest Swedish Police drama was on! But... where were the subtitles!?! There was a blonde woman in a jumper, grey sky, concrete blocks of flats, lots of blood. I
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3. We were ushered by jelly babies through halls lined with butterscotch to an audience with the Donut Queen on her Lollipop Throne. "Your Sugariness," we intoned, bowing low. "You
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3was a Dyrubian agent. But hang on... Mom never let me in the garage and checked me with a Geiger counter if I went near it. Our cat had given birth to a kitten with 3 heads. Hmmm