Finished Folds (1861—1880)
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6wait cos my Viking rage wasn't the tiniest bit slaked in Credit Control. Only when my bezerker lust has been assuaged in Human Resourses will the top floor carpet be drowned in blo
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9Dear diary - just been declared King of the Worms. Long story but as soon as I convert to Hermaphroditism the coronation goes ahead. I'm in 2 minds about it.
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4'Do I have the emotional heft to get off the bus at the next stop or shall I just stay on until the end of the route and get kicked off?' This was the kind of question that Zoe ask
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5The great egg sat in the corner of the living room. It was a purple ovoid the height of a Croatian villager, dusted with green speckles the size of Olympic silver medals. Brooding
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5This is how Eda Mae was - alway seeing the positive in any situation. Oda Mae was so infuriated she crushed Eda's head in a vice-like wrestling hold and sprinkled parmesan shavings
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0Their was also lasagne on a stick, spaghetti bol on a stick and osso bucco on a stick. The beardies struggled hopelessly with the sticked food and employed small voles to clean
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2They happily scoffed chow mein and prawny balls oblivious to everything except their gorgeous naked bodies. Bing! Their flight to Delhi was boarding. Security loved them - no need
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6The Hoff cleared his throat gruffly and asked if we could share an Oreo... together. I clutched the packet to my heaving bosom so tightly that the Oreos disintegrated into a mess
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6, digressing, subclausing, spewing adverbial particles, its gerunds self-replicating wildly: this Sentence from Hell refused to die, to punctuate an appropriate termination, to
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2react when trapped in a maze with only institutionalised rats and pigeons for company. I recruited Maya Angelou for my psychological study & advertised for any lab animals who'd be
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7me a lift. No way am I going to hitch back to his place while he transports himself in a state of the art automobile. Last time I got lost and ended up going anticlockwise on the r
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5"What's this?" I ask my wife, fingering my hammer a bit. "The fermented juice of the vine is an abomination!" "It's just a glass of wine," she replied, triggering her drill so that
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3I'm sure I read somewhere that ancient Britons dressed as grey herons to scare the Romans. It didn't go well for them and since then heron or any bird fancy dress has not been incl
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2Perhaps yea well perhaps I should have but, you know, I'm not some kind of, you know, and anyway, where were you? Where were you when this was all going on and it all happened?
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7I will see the massive heads of the actors on the screen without any visual interference from other customers. Once I have eaten my popcorn and my free refill
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8Gwendolen was going to end world poverty that morning, but instead frittered the time away on ebay bidding for oddly shaped vegetables. The postman knocked delivering a parcel
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5If I stand on tiptoe I think I might be able to reach it. I'm worried about what might happen after, if course. Once I've pulled it out, will I be able to put it back again?
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3I didn't plan on becoming a courtesan. But when I met the Comte de Camembert at the Opera de Ville, I couldn't resist his offers of chateaux, gold Louis and fine stallions. Helas!
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4Dirk was stirring his coffee with his usual steely purpose. He emphatically unwrapped two sugar lumps, examined them closely and rejected one as substandard. He dropped the more pe
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2"Am I prolix?" asked the small shrimpy animancule swimming in the gloop. "Perhaps 'less is more' should be my mantra from now on." Smiling ever so slightly it flicked its pinkish