Finished Folds (1921—1940)
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4else I haven't thought of yet. 11) prawn cocktail flavour crisps. 12) sitting outside a Turkish cafe & trying not to move in the 40+ degree heat. 13) white dogs with black spots th
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5"What evidence do you have that the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't already started."
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3We'd arranged to meet at our usual place: under the diplodocus's tail at the museum. Tourists were sitting around surrounded by their possessions like refugees fleeing a war zone
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4for the gifts the 70s gave us go to: avocado bathroom suites; Abba; prawn cocktail followed by Steak Diane followed by Black Forest Gateau & wife swapping in no particular order.
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2"I've been feeling lower than a worm's tit," he squeaked in falsetto to his BBF, Jade. Jade didn't notice that he wasn't a woman because she wasn't looking at or listened to him
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0If the Trojan Aeneas had known that the town he founded would become the setting for Silvio Berlusconni's famous Bunga Bunga parties I expect he would have slapped his thigh in ex
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3massaged into the alien life forms in the correct way could recreate a good facsimile of an armpit in their gooey green flesh. Captain WariWei was wary of over-armpitting the alien
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5ust repress & repress & repress until the emotions build up in your brain & it explodes. The slug worms in your brain are released to lay their eggs in the next vector's ear. It's
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4Gurgle (v): to steal a ventriloquist's dummy. Lymph (v) to walk with a lisp. Assassination (n): an arrangement to meet a donkey. Hob-nobbing (n): casual sex with a goblin
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6The nihilist consumer lost the will to consume and sat around all day trying to be as one with the light particles flowing through her window. Her name was Sunbeam & she ate light
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5He would sit the peasant focus group around an iron pot of gruel & they would fight to the death to eat it. The Knight Errant Market Surveyor would write a list of the winner's emo
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4When Mungo started disembowelling me I'd learnt it meant he needed feeding or wanted a stroke. He purred as I tickled him under the chin, I picked up some coils of intestine and
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1stromatolites pumping out oxygen. Paleozoic Gareth was a has-been blue greem anaerobe. We mesoproterozoics had just invented sex. Weyheyhey! Just bud off by yourself Gareth, we're
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5"Sorry, I can't deal with your problem, I'm looking for Amanda Hump," she said agitatedly. "I saw her talking to Jack Tuat, the prime minister of Fiji, you might be too late,"
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4and dreams. I adjusted my beehive wig & pulled up a stool next to the drunk. "Karaoke is just a means to an end for me," I told him. "One day I'll be talent spotted by a record com
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3Archduke Franz Ferdinand ran into the bar hotly pursued by the wild-eyed Princip. A shot rang out, the Arhduke collapsed. Jimmy chased the Bosnian Serb down 24th Street but he disa
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5To whom it may concern - My intense regard for the fair Anita, which knows no bounds, drives me to express myself via the medium of biro on lined paper. She has alabaster arms and
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4I was sitting staring into space thinking about all the dead bees. Suddenly I made the decision to do something about it. I jumped up and pulled on my trousers. Pausing only to gra
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7singing with just a withering glance. So I throat sang with gay abandon while my nemesis could only look on in frustration and that's how I got the girl. End. Of. Story.
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4"You need to chew each mouthful at least 20 times for the food paste to be of optimal consistency for the stomach acids and enzymes to digest properly." She tutted as I gagged on