Finished Folds (501—520)
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6, body slam passersby and squat in the medians reading Fifty Shades of Grey to pigeons with a megaphone. Off the meds I was a new man! Cops chased me but could never catch me
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8to engage in selective boorish foot behavior only, putting my bare feet on top of seats in front of me at the movies, on the bus and at church, but not at hospitals or weddings.
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7On house arrest and unemployed, Pete had nothing better to do than to punk the mailman and spy on his neighbors. One day, while using his Steiner Tactical binoculars,
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3the crocodile suitcase where Grandma kept Elton John's Crocodile Rock solid gold gold record, which he planned to steal. Her watchdog, a 1/2 chihuahua pitbull chihuahua pitbull
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5I was just a small town girl living in a lonely world, but I had to help Mr. Perry. "After the Fall," I said, "You gotta be Good To Yourself. Maybe some Lovin' ,Touchin', Squeezin'
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4and the eyes in his head saw the world spinning 'round, allowing him to see a parallel universe. People thought he was crazy when he said in the parallel universe on the farm
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4chewed bark off a tree and spit out a driver. Dwayne did 5 cartwheels before Jasper started by swinging off a tee Brougham held in his teeth. The 3 weird brothers were tolerated
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4In an unexpected plot twist, the Protagonist was awoken by the Antagonist, who, in a dramatic monologue full of hyperbole, shared a biographical anecdote which foreshadowed
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1, a radical anti-Apple fringe group, threw 1123 iPads over the White House fence onto the lawn. They were making a statement using these first digits of the Fibonnaci sequence
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4Beth, a paranoid privacy freak, thought the CIA, FBI & Chinese Government monitored her computer because of searches she did before writing a Folding Story fold, like "best way
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6forehe-" and BOOM he was dead, shot right between the eyes by a random dumbass he'd not anticipated: Ned, across the street in 3A. Ned had been using the laser sight on his Beretta
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6ed shooting a gun then shaking her head "no". The jury was supposed to ignore the interpretive stenographer, but it was hard since she accompanied her dance moves with a theremin.
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9on her Steven Tyler microphone scarf. Spam Baby had no teeth, so he'd managed to swallow the scarf whole while it was still attached to the mic stand. The stand fell and the reverb
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4"Prithee, sir, what dost thou require?" I asked."This aint the Ren Faire" the Warden said thru the oubliette hatch, "STFU with the poem recitals!" "God's teeth!" I said, "You, sir,
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4it hung in the air like shoes on a power line.Tons of pictures of hurling college kids posted on the CDC's Facebook page. CDC, unaware they all had hangovers, declared an outbreak
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4his backyard must be cleaned all of his beloved Fifi's poo poo, she must be dispatched, if not already dead, taxidermied and stood next to his stiff corpse at his wake, which
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4undoing his hair extensions.They landed on the dessert cart as the police arrived.In court he unsuccessfully used a Twinkie Defense variation, blaming it on the endless breadsticks
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2Turns out the fireman had cataracts. He'd been pulled from retirement because due to city budget cuts, no other firemen were available. He got his garden hose and axe from the taxi
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3"As a man, I must put away childish things." But he vowed to keep his childish wonder, as his men coyote-wrestled in the nude under the stars in a dark desert sky.
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4"Don't call me 'Tenderoni,' " she said, as she walked up to me and she asked me to dance. We danced on the floor in the round, then I pushed her away. I walked to the door and she