Finished Folds (481—500)
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6Oh yeah-Granny always put banana chips in the offering instead of quarters--would Granny go to hell for that?Granny's last scrapbook page had a scratch-n-sniff sticker that smelled
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3pinball machines, a boring job til Benny met the "Pinball Wizard," an old drunk guy wearing a wizard hat he'd made from bar napkins & swizzle sticks."Step aside Junior" the Pinball
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4Suddenly the Hamburger Helper mitt burst in with a cast on its thumb, a black eye and a busted lip. "Don't fall for Mr. Clean's charm, Mr. Hand, he's a violent abusive, mamma's boy
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6"Geez, Eddie," said Stone. "You can't write lyrics worth $#@* anymore." Pearl Jam was playing another podunk county fair gig. Eddie shrugged and took another bite of his deep fried
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3stic/real sod hybrid turf. It became a sensation, eventually reversing world-wide water shortages, poverty, racism, political and religious intolerance and the EU debt crisis.
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4in the middle of a crop circle. It was pitch black but suddenly a bright light shone from the corn stalk periphery, temporarily blinding me. One cow began levitating. Another spoke
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3keeled over, dead. The remaining contestants shoved Timmy to the mic.Nervous, his Tourette's kicked into high gear. "$-#-&-%-i-n-g-$-#-&-%" he screamed/spelled.The Spelling Bee god
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3horrible disfigurement. Blue cool, freeze nuts off." I decided to take a dirt bath with Farmer Bob's chickens, instead. As I pulled up on my Segway, Farmer Bob's daughter, Lurlene
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4Unbeknownst to Pinocchio, he was imploding as the termites continued to gnaw away. So after he fed Jiminy Cricket to a tarantantula and told Gepetto that Jiminy had gone to Detroit
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1tuous clowns can't read and I have to take care of the job myself. As the Law of Attraction would have it, since I was thinking about idiots, Timmy rounded the corner, carrying
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4off 7 houndsteeth and piously hurled them at the door just as his adversary, Cardinal Fang, burst in. NINJA POPE was unaware that his *real* enemy, Sister Aloysius, was behind him
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4or voting Republican. Among other things, Fate was narcissistic, and decided now was the time to eradicate Murphy's Law. No room for both in the universe. Fate found Murphy
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7the Pastor's robe, thuribles ignited the chancel drapes & the organ spontaneously started playing Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise." The only way to exorcise the Hip Hop Black Magic
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3g the pants off a leprechaun who fell from the sky. Clearly pissed, he glared at her with singed beard, bowtie askew, top hat smashed, and missing a shoe. Instead of a pot of gold
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0"An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications." "Mother," he cringed, "You know no one should discuss politics or Africa on the bus." The last time she did that
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3Her iPhone glowed just out of her reach and illuminated other recently flushed items. She saw several goldfish, crack pipes and a gherkin before surfacing in the sewer
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4--Iiterally.The Beave was so old his rotting, beatnik teeth stank up small bars at his poetry slams. He also emanated the fetor of impending death, using it in his performance art
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3banished to Brazil by his Great Grandpapa Razzi, he'd have to settle with "Alien do Espaço Samba". The aliens didn’t understand Portuguese so instead of landing in Brazil
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0animated in the garage, and kicked it out into the street. Wilson, hallucinating from absorbing all that salt water and on a vendetta, bounced off to find and kill Tom Hanks
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3to " why can't I remember the names of random chicks I pick up for one nite stands?" Sergeant Cuddles was tired of dealing with that awkward situation every morning so he