It was Loan Shark Week on CNBC and all the anchors were replaced by thugs. Tony the Pony (yes, yes) was interviewing a victim of check cashing services. "50% interest, that's not

A sandwich is a sandwich.

The gleaming yellow paint of the brand new Ferrari sparkled in late afternoon sunshine. It was so hard for Jake to wait for her; he just wanted to get out of there, to leave this

Everyone was watching. This was finally Bert's chance. He ran down the runway toward Ernie, bounced on the trampoline and

Before helga met Pierre, she had been content to tend her Holsteins in Alpine Meadows. But when the bereted Frenchman walked into her meadow, everything changed.

Jerry measured time by the stack of unread Newsweeks in the corner. He regretted buying that lifetime subscription almost as much as Jane's attempt at

NaNoWriMo was a bust for me.

My favorite art is from the 50s, 60s and 70s when

Wrestle Mania was blaring from the Taverns flat screen at full volume. Stale beer and tobacco odors cloyingly hung in the air. A breeze from the front door lifted the tutu's of

I learned everything I needed to know in kindergarten. Like "What mine is mine and so is yours", "Show me your and I'll show you mine!", "Afternoon naps are OK Nooners are better"

This story will end after 10 lines. OK, Now what? Who's going to tell me what to write next? Why did my teacher have to require me sing up for this humiliation? I can Sign a Check!

I stopped to catch my breath. Something had just arisen from the hole, and I had run for my life. As I turned to face this unknown beast, I drew my sword and called upon Kyle, my

The most beautiful sunset you've ever seen becomes colorless when you realize you have no one to share it with and you left your camera at home. Often I prefer to be alone, but not

Mavis never knew a yard sale she didn't like.

Central Oregon's high plain in the morning; crisp air, clear blue sky, birds flitting from tree to tree, steaming deer scat, a squirrel cussing me for trespassing. Home! Peace! Joy

Shuffling non-threatengly down the street, a horde of perfectly harmless Zombies™ (newly reformed and safe in every way, We Promise!™) headed to their day jobs.

Spent cartridge casings excitedly jumped from the smoking port of the rapidly-heating M134. In a space of milliseconds, the four-door sedan was reduced to a chewed-up scrap heap.

Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Maximus--that was the gang back in the day, when we used to go down to the swimmin' hole in backwoods. One day, as we neared the hole's clearing...

I'm a little teapot, short and stout.

Terrence was his name but he made everyone call him psyche because