A pessimist, an optometrist, an oncologist and a talking prune walk into a bar. The bartender says to the group "What would you like?" The pessimist says "Meh, you won't have it."

Damian took her hand. "Lisa..." he murmured, "give me a chance." She gazed into his eyes. Then she smiled, and just as his face filled with hope, disengaged from the simulator

I've waited so long, I don't even remember what it's like to be with you. This is why I'm guilty. I mean, I should remember something so important, right? I remember in one way, bu

It is 1976. A young Australian hobo walks the streets of London, England at 11:45pm. It is a clear sky, but the hobo's eyesight is so bad that he cannot even see the stars.

When Roger refused to consummate their marriageon their wedding night, Cleo deeply regretted her vow of premarital chastity. But Ross the bellman was happy to step in. As it were.

A Poem About My Mother - Humble,sweet,but often dreary/My mother is a soulless fairy/Beneath her lips,color of cherry/Three blackened teeth,a tongue so hairy/

You insist that the weight of the world should be on your shoulders. But why?

"Fuck Thee, Morpheus. Bitch, I am the One." "Mon, you be crampin ma styles." "Peace Out!" Now to fly off in my spaceship. But what is that over yonder on the horizon?

Francis van Loewe woke early with fireworks in his belly. An auspicious day, one of portentious omen. His gut told him get up on the right side, but put on the left slipper first.

"shut up!!" he yelled at his annoying grandmother that he had just addopted the other day. he hadn't quite gotten used to having her around and she would not stop talking

There was once a grand old man who liked to read a lot. One fine day he realized that he spent more time in reading than living and then he died. He had a grandkid who hated readin

Kaelen was the most sensitive of us bros, so when he said it was go-time, we knew the coast was as clear as it ever would be. Our sister Terisha would roll her eyes at our caution,

Once upon a time There lived a beautiful A large ugly castle Trapped in the castle There was spell that was She tried to leave One day He worked extremely hard to Finally

I turned on the computer, worried that it would take too long and worried that I would mess up. What would happen? I worried, What would happen if I didnt make it in time? Or if I

I'm in a white room with no door. In the corner is a small girl, she seems to be crying. I start to run to her but a man gets in my way, "Who the heck are you?" He asks swinging

"Teleportation?" "Hello, asshole, time travel?" The Indian drew his arrow further back. I didn't care because I was protected by the

I miss her cigarette stained teeth, her stringy, dirty hair. I don't care she smells like Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup or she has a unibrow. Ivanka Spanka and I are in love.

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Johnny.

If I hooked up a video game controller to a car, I would be the best driver. Okay, so I'd be a little aggressive around turns and pedestrians, but am I supposed to NOT use turbo?

The fate of the world was in my hands. This was the turning point, this was the dice roll that would determine the outcome of the most dramatic Risk game in history. And I rolled a