When I was a young boy, my Pa always told me "Boy, don't you go around being a pansy now, you hear? Wearing flowers around your head and playing the guitar all day ain't

"We're Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" the singer sang off-key. Nobody really believed the lead singer in front of them that evening was Billy Shears. Suddenly...

After the Nurikabe failed, Jen tired a more traditional means of protecting cheese puffs: burying them underground. "Digging through tile is tough," she said, clutching a rusty

Now, boys and girls, this is to be a nice, clean story, do you hear? No lewd references to body parts, no toilet humor, no crude or sexual words will be tolerated.

Somehow Jasper got himself targeted. From overhead one could see the PariahNet app subscribers start to converge on him like metal filings toward a magnet. The WNYC news chopper

Once there was a young girl named Lilly. She was ten, had a great imagination, a big heart, and warm hands. She didn't have any siblings, and her parents were always away for work.

"Your hairs gray." "You have crow's feet". "It take you an hour to pee." "Your thighs look like cottage cheese someone threw up on a hot sidewalk." "You always had a tiny penis."

CREAeeeeeEaeeeeeeEEEEaaaakkkkkKKK! Oh I didn't see you standing there. Come in... won't you? CREAeeeeeEaeeeeeeEEEEaaaakkkkkKKK! KLUNK! CuhChunk! Thud! Click-click.

Patient #zero came into the ER today, again, spitting up random universes and stray alien civilizations the size of a dog's head. We're still trying to find out which dog it is.

Papa Smurf had fallen in love, I mean summer camp level "in love" with Red Riding Hood when she came skipping through the forest. She'd smashed his mushroom house but

Agent Spitfire Wannamaker, this message if from the Deep Undercover Bureau of Secrecy (D.U.B.S.). For your eyes only. Contains Mission. Will self-destruck in 5 minutes. You must

Senator Alistair Jumba and his relatives had ruled Jumba Jumba Land for centuries. So when the Boku Toku Party gained control of parliament, he immediately plotted to have them all

"Mammy, here's Miss Scarlett's vitals." Dr. Williams hated her Medical Assistant. She treated the hospital like it was the set from Gone with the Wind.

Thirty years later and it still burns my butt that I didn't get the part of the Artful Dodger in that production of Oliver. Story of my life. Just a generic street urchin who

I like big spuds and I cannot lie, hashbrowns or big steak fries, when I see one baked with bacon flakes my inside start to shake, Idaho or new, you just can't get

I was watching tv when I realized I had a third arm.Testing out the arm, I went outside and climbed a tree. I got bored easily, so I went back inside and ate some chips until

As I was heading into work, my mind started to drift from one topic to another. I wondered if I had left the coffee maker on? Was I teaching 9 English or 10 History first? When

Debbie couldn't sleep. The results of the European elections were due & she couldn't wait to discover the new composition of the European Parliament. She heard a sound from the riv

So the Wal-Mart truck eased off onto a frontage road in the pre-dawn light. The driver parked. Opened the trailer. Unloaded a duffel and threw it in the ditch. A severed head

After 10 days of white-out in a pup-tent, the weather cleared and we ventured to the peak. When reaching the summit, I checked my GPS. We were on the wrong mountain