"Fractals et my dingo," Gareth said bitterly as his Romanesque apartment building started to look like a congress of trilobites. "Wasn't me, bro," said his friend Corwin with conce

Dear Editor: I believe I have an improvement. Can I have a do-over? Dear Sir: This isn't a game of stickball. We just spent $600,000 to publish your Complete Guide to

My mother had always warned me about this. Its not like I didn't believe her--its just that I didn't think it would ever happen to me. I never thought it could happen to me. But

Vlastomil Ruparkhin came back into focus. "Thought you had left the room!" Greta Merton quipped. "Oh, I'm still out there, but maybe I should don some pagan carp for their sake."

He was jobless and he hadn't eaten for two days. He found this shiny coin on the road but he decided not to use it and to keep it instead, for good luck. He went back home and

Careful and quiet as she sends the pencil down the page in short strokes, she chews on her lower lip, soft and pink and scarred from childhood. Even so, her lips are perfect.

I woke up hungry. Hungry for justice. Hungry for change. I blindly put on a shirt, opened the creaky fold-away door, and grabbed a bag of Bugles. Revolution was at my doorstep

The aged willow tree looked out at the pond she eternally stood besides, pondering the point of her existence. It was at this time she noticed the light in front of her glowing

Why do I buy such trash? I have a hedgehog brush, a metal toothbrush, a rubber nail file, a pair of plastic gloves, cardboard socks and a paper shirt. Yesterday I bought a

He was an Emo hitman who was plagued with suicidal thoughts every time he was contracted to kill someone.

Okay I got it. Street Sweeper Wars, Street Sweeper's Wives, Are You Smarter than a Street Sweeper? Celebrity Street Sweeper, So You Think You Can Street Sweep? Street Sweeper COPS!

Her husband came and found her in the kitchen. "I'm so sorry," he said holding her tight. "So sorry I brought you to a house with no internet access."

Then kanalu died and his soul was sent to hell where it would rot until the end of time

Homo neanderthalis had a tendency to eschew sex in favor of playing pinochle. Thus the sex=meh gene doomed them to extinction where as Homo sapiens sex=fun gene meant that

Frederick fished, fairly fraught from ferocious food. Forgiving Felicity for fondly following Frank, Frederick fastened feathers for fast flight. Frederick flew freely from Franc

He fell in love with summer sausage after the trip to the cracker barrel because

Help!Help! my mother is trying to push me into the well.Hearing that, my mother came near me.IN the sleep, i started pulling my mother's hair .Later, she told "stop pulling ....

It is the year 20XX and monsters have taken over the world. Monsters created by our own hand. They

The term "sacrum" (i.e. "holy") in connection with cupcakes has led to a proliferation of evangelical bakery items. These items include

The professor blew up the powder-blue balloon, tied it, held it at arms length, and with one sweeping motion, popped it with a pin."Thus ends the lecture. Questions?"