His hatred for reggae was only outmatched by his love of weed. To solve this problem he moved to Jamaica to become super high but also kill reggae artists from the inside and

He sat down. Quietly. He read the barf bag. He'd felt a little jumpy and scanned the passengers coming on board. No body language cues. A ten year old said, "You're an Air Marshall

I was standing there in the forest guns blazing at the monster leaping twards me. It's eyes as read as blood staring at the barrel of my gun, claws tearing at my flesh. Then out of

"Shoot the tentacles to open the core." What did that mean? It surely wasn't the least ambiguous advice I had been given, but I took it to heart - I reeled in my lure, cocked my

As Bob sat in Church, he counted on his fingers how many of the Ten Commandments he was breaking. "Let's see, I'm coveting Dave's wife, and all of her goods. And I'm about to steal

I have a mansion, sports car, pool, cashmere sweater, and gold watch. I am living the virtual dream. Outside of my social media game, I have a cardboard box and ramen.

Dear Sir, I write this to inform you succinctly of your ill-temper and unsavory manner of speech. As you know, My English Dandy Club membership outranks your Drill Sergeant's strip

Wow, doesn't anybody still fold?

<General statement regarding how the story will turn out.> Followed by <Introduction of protagonist.> Then an <Open-ended description of a hilarious or dangerous situation...>

zil byl huli хулиган

The following line is not intented as a factual statement.

There once was a man from Nantucket

Among the relics found at the Beatles auction was one slightly used portable hole from the Yellow Submarine movie. It was bought by

" When in Romania: A Story of Love and Immortality" Doug rolled his eyes. He was getting sick and tired of all these vampire books. Moreover, that the world was a string of sequals

Most of Octavia's acquaintances inhabited eccentric orbits, but Xeno truly came from another planet.

"Enhance that bit." We could finally read the license plate. It was reflected off the store window, the sheen of the motorcycle helmet and her cornea. "Those ATM cameras record

My sister died. Reading the text that I sent her. The text I sent her in a fit that she wouldn't support me about Garret. I regret it every day.

Capricorn - Co-workers might take advantage of you. Realize your potential and write in your journal about new directions and ambitions. You will meet a dog.

"You're so totally into body-mod! Let me touch your neck bolts again!" and then the head fell off. "Oops."

"Hello, America!" shouted a mouse down the microphone. Of course, this being a mouse, it only came out as "Squeak-squeak, Squeeaak!". The President looked baffled. Was this