Woke up, got out of bed. Took a line of smack to the head. Found my way downstairs and drank a pint, looked outside, noticed it was light. Found my coat, grabbed my gack, made the

We are being changed physically from carbon-based being with 2 strands of DNA into crystalline beings with 1,024 strands of DNA

They crinkled their noses, wondering what could make the room smell like this. Sally walked in and almost puked. There in the corner of the room was

I continued to drink the poison betting on the sageseed to protect me. A couple rumbles that might have been ordinary later & we were sneaking around in her backyard with a shovel.

"How can I choose." I thought to myself. Barack Obama look alike or the grey fox veteran. I have so much to give, but I need something substantial in return.

Professor Lulu Loomis was beginning to have second thoughts about taking a job at Hooters so soon after her sex-change operation. Maybe being a woman involved more than just

"Nothings funnier then nude people slapping each other in the shower! Am I right, or what?" "I don't know. I mean that was late night programming. But now we're talking about

d a n k

The waiter left her spinach but took her fork, then her husband stole her knife and screamed at the shitty waiter that the knife was dirty.

Why? Why must I do this? Why do I..

Chocolate covered pretzels dipped in caramel coated mint ice ream wasn't enough to drown my disappointment at having been fired by the worlds worst company.

The hungry space monkey goes to school on the moon.

She screamed in mixed emotions,delight or horror, she was yet to know; for she had seen the most handsome man her father has forced her to marry and yet she was still unhappy..

I have an Anything card in my wallet. Just wave in front of a customer service representative and I get anything I want.

Toby the mud wrestler always overate on Saturdays because

The Brown Plaid Spinach was "only" a cover band, but most of their covers put the originals to shame. Marty Edgers' worm-eaten Gretsch had something to do with it, haunted by the g

We were charged with coming up with new cereal concepts revolving around celebrities. Some, like Al Frankenberries, never made it past the concept stage, but others, such as Honey

Aaron gave her clitoris a quick tickle with his tongue and had at it with the groceries. The next time he came up for air he asked his grandfather, who was on the recliner next to

An entity aware of it's agency upon which it's reach at essence resolves the formative alienation. From this position a degree of pre-Being extrudes itself before actual Extrusion.

The man is composed of more mechanical parts than organic matter; the shimmering metal and computerized wiring replacing not just mere limbs, but entire organs as well. He was