We'd watched Stripes, Full Metal Jacket, crushed a few too many beers & put in work on a handle of Jack. I said "Seriously; don't do it. Canada has free health care & nice breezes.

"Feather me this, feather me that. The feather weaver has got your back," the madman chuckled, his arms frollicking and his eyebrows dancing. There were feathers... everywhere.

Amanda Widdershins looked around at her new apartment: modern, reasonably well made, good view of the city lights, but sterile somehow compared to the farmhouse she had sold. She

My uncle was obsequious, purple & clairvoyant, pompous, obese & ate cactus, dull, boring & omnipresent & criticized things he didn't know about. "He needs his knees removed!" said

I thought our love would last forever...Instead I got what felt like the reality check of the century

She told everybody her name was Ma Bell, but who knew if that was true or not? Out in the wasteland it didn't matter what you called yourself, as long as you pulled your weight.

I've got it: "Suddenly and for no apparent reason, a troop of mutant clowns with Viagra-cream pies shows up on a stolen flatulence powered amphibious ATV." Another perfect fold!

Heyman Boyd mused as the shuttle transited a dark matter tendril to another venue in the galactic mesh. "The words of the microflora are written on the ..." Meat travelers were mo

This is a test

He was a gangly guy, a nipple-ripper alright, with an eye for the ladies and a taste for whiskey. Boasting a purple velvet vest, he zig-zagged into the room, smelling of ambergris.

This was my fourth time trying to make the jump. I knew I could do it this time, I got a running start and jumped into the air. The first thing that crossed my mind when I realized

Hello! My name is Taipan and I am a Siamese cat rescued froma sewer. My human, Tom, tells me I neverstop talking, but he has finally found his BFF for life. We are both happy!

At the same time I was anxious for the party but a little depressed. Although Kyra have invited me to lunch at her mother's place, was not very willing to participate in social

Suddenly out of the mist I saw it. A giant goat clad in golden armour. I knelt before it and said

Vern the Amish guy had a duck growing out of his side and liked to lawn bowl nude with his uncle. I first met Vern back in

She had painted her fingernails a pale shade of purple, and was now moving onto her toes.

The following is a list of those poor mascots who perished at the hands of the cereal killer last summer: Crunchy Giraffe, Chocolate Cobra, The Marshmallow Maniac, Sugary Nelson,

"Why haven't you started potty training them yet?" asked the grandmother, seeming confused and almost a little angry. "Well, they just don't seem ready yet." replied the man.

Hippos stormed the castle.

Megan opened the door slowly, hoping with all her might that it wouldn't squeak. Mrs. Gordling was harsh at the best of times, but she might just blow a gasket if she caught Megan