They were called in the kids school,that afternoon.Weewees were out!The flowers and bees talk had been a bucket of cold water.That night nothing was suposed to happen,but they were

He stroked his facial hair. Flashes popped. The press leaned in. The pause was like a silent avalanche. Then the musician said, "I call it Post-Electric Samba Folk."

It was when Mr Grey, a classics teacher, got a job at a girls boarding school that he developed his nervous twitch.

Litze emerged sobbing from the cafe's bathroom. She was just off the bus from Estonia and hadn't seen a flushing toilet in 2 years. Budapest was paradise

One typical night in the Loon and Harlot good ole Jez Osborne confided that he was, in fact, The Kraken. He stopped me before I opened my gob. "Believe you me, I'm awake. See those

"No. Well, maybe...ok, FINE! I'm in." Curse

Once in a Thai crystal palace there lived a young man who wished to one day be a monk. He chanted the mantra he had composed himself and written down in the black book every day

Prison psychologist: "Let's play Rorschach Roulette. I'll start, Beekeeper. Prisoner #39451: "Um... Burka?"

I love myself

"So you thee, I juth god unruc ow ... ow ow kee wif my tsch ow ... ow ow. choice a cac-thee Doc." "Martin, a good fraction of succulent plants are not succulent. They're poison

Baba Yaga the Hutu was sick of the jokes.

"Mother, when are our cousins expected to arrive?"

I burst through my own chest finally, but not before I fell onto the table, scattering my friends' cell phones and entrees. I emerged refreshed, like a gelatinous, elegant phantasm

With all the groupies and the long bus rides and nights filled with drugs and booze, I know I have paid my dues as an ocarina musician.

Please, FS goddess, grant this story coherence & by your grace may this fold fruitfully spawn more folds of brilliant wit, erudition & other qualities tba at yr convenience

I was sitting wondering how many times you could drop your ipad before it actually, you know, broke for real. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a cat with wings chasing a robin

Lucifer was looking at the tiny creature with such intensity, as if it would enter spontaneous combustion at any time and didn't want to miss any second of it.

In the dying days of World War II Hitler sat in his bunker eating a boiled egg. Suddenly a time traveller appeared from nowhere and pointed a gun at him "Hitler", he said "My name

The first time I drove on a motorway was the I-95 in Miami - straight out of the hire car place. It was also my first l/h drive car & the first time I'd driven on the right. Scream

Joaquin Dix scanned the field. He saw Hakeem Nicks come open across the middle just as Akiem Hicks hit him from behind. Akeem tackled Hakeem while Akiem roughed up Joaquin.