These are a few of my most-despised words: Pulchritude. Cauliflower. Leprous. Axe. Quantitative-easing. Blister. Virgin. Trebuchet. Maybe. Flatulence. Me. Make a story out of them!

Luke heard the screaming... the world was falling apart, and it had only been three days! People, rising from the dead to devour others! "This is a nightmare!" he said to himself.

"Because you have no ass." That upset her. She had a face. She had class. She nice breasts. But it was true, she had no ass.

Many rebelled when they read his manifestos, unwilling to consider the truth they contained. But some realized the activist was right, especially those who ate their own shorts.

The Civil-verse was plagued with associated tourists. They self ported through the Master Press like worms in a carcass. My job was to give them a reason to go home.

Within the confines of the TechnoCave, the Miasma Theorists stuck to their guns. "I'll believe what I want, this is a free country." "That's the miasma talking, Jen. Freedom? Here?

Now, this Magic is one you have never seen before, it is a literary magic called Haiku Pocus.

The day the washing machines attacked started like any other. I remember sitting lazily in the dining room, munching on cereal, when I heard a scream come from the laundry room. I

Every morning she caked herself in foundation and proceeded to douse herself in cheap perfume just to hide who she was, but even with that, she couldn't cover it up.

Cranberry the Cat ate Dolly the Duckling with some apple sauce. Damian the Dog ate Cranberry the Cat with Dijon mustard. Felix the Fox ate Damian the Dog with celeriac remoulade

One day, Chuck Norris, Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, Mel Gibson And Robert Duvall united to save the world.

mayday mayday mayday

"I sell laughs." He said matter a factly. "You're a comedian?" I asked. He grimaced. "Humor isn't a language people understand. I just sell laughs. You want a sample? Put these on

"Who are you?" "I'm little latin loopie lou, would you like to have a hug? "Not, exactly." "Ok, who are you?" "I'm a looper."

Jack Knight donned his helmet & lowered the canopy. He'd wanted to be a fighter pilot as long as he could remember but lived in fear his jet would explode in a fiery plume of death

A major unintended consequence of the collapse of the Iron Curtain in 1989 (ish) was that the UK would never again win the Eurovision Song Contest. If we'd known this, our celebrat

I am Groot.

The shadow of the Manatee fell across Amanda Widdershin's tarot spread one evening. "Detective! Would you like some tea?" Det J said, "I'd like your counsel on a case with occult p

"Alrighty, let's get started, shall we? This seminar is 'How to Live Forever.' First things first, (and I want to underscore the importance of this, people), don't die. Second,

It was too much really. Precious memories was playing & I couldn't recognize anyone in the photo album. I needed help. I took the album and ran out the door. Only if anyone could