It is the year 20XX and monsters have taken over the world. Monsters created by our own hand. They

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--" I screamed, then paused to take a deep breath. "--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh." My friend blinked at me. "Wow," she said.

I keep wanting to get offline and sleep, but right before I do, I keep thinking to my self, "just one more fold, one more stumble, one more reddit, one more search... etc." Help m

After I'd received my neighbor returned to me from selling him on eBay, the car wash's genie mascot explained his master was the car wash owner. I plotted to earn his wishes for my

When Mrs. B. peeled the label from the can of beans to rinse it for recycling, she saw, in black marker: "aLbino gEcko A37". She gasped, then worried that her husband might have

"My bestfriend's boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, raped me." I had to say it. Wow, it felt amazing to let it out. The group looked at me understandingly. The group therapist turned to

"Hey, you!" I looked up. A guy on a Ferris Wheel was waving manically at me. "My name's John. We're gonna get married! And have a little dog called Ponce!" I gave him the thumbs up

What's for dinner?

The sign said "Stay away fool". It was posted on a crazy little shack that sat way back. Out front was parked a Chrysler - roughly the size of a whale, though what species was

He looked at her and whispered, "Let's bob for apples, shall we?"

It lay dormant in the root cellar for years, curled fetus-like into a ball and buried under old comics and cobwebs. Years later it woke, its metamorphosis complete, the stubby

Happy, Sneezy, Grouchy, Dopey, Sleepy, Bashful & Doc

Caught a mouse in my house, and put him in my shoe

Party! Party! Parrrrrteeeeee!!!! PARTY! BEER! YEAH! Partypartyparty! GLUG-GLUG-GLUG! (urp!) Hey therez youz tharz, Yur my best friend. Hahahah... DUBSTEB! WHOOOOO!!!

The people who come for answers from the cards must be treated gently. They are usually looking for a way out. I don't stack the deck, I don't make false shuffles, but still

I gotta admit, Marvin, that's one heck of a carrot, said farmer Joe. In all 50 years of his farming life he had never seen a carrot like that. Marvin felt Joe's jealousy and simply

It was a hole, but a holy hole. "Behold The Hole! The Holiest of Holes, this hole is so holy that only those with the purest of hearts can take a peek inside." Bob approached the

It was the 67th Annual Gentlemen's-Only chocolate tasting festival, thousands of men gathered each year to discover the finest new chocolates and moan about their oppressive wives

The Geomagnetic anomalies make a surgical strike impossible, unleash the

Take a fist and put it through a Zombies chest, grab whatever hot and salty goo is in there and twist. That's how I like to start my morning. Grim. Fetid. Committed.