There was a distinct tingle in the air. He stepped out of the shadows, knowing that he'd be giving away his position, but he was done with the cat and mouse game. He stooped and

Hiding behind a display case, Bob snuck a Listerine bottle into his jacket and walked out of the CVS. It was party time.

Damn!

Mary was drinking a soda when two Federal Agents arrested her in public! "Mary Anne Jones" said the blonde one "You're under arrest for the manufacturing and selling of

Aquaman - King of Atlantis, Summoner of the Seven Seas - rose from the depths with the broken and bloody corpse of Eric Merman in his arms. "Look me in the eye, Batman, and tell me

SELECT * FROM People P LEFT OUTER JOIN Relations R on R.with = P.id WHERE P.iq > 140 AND P.sex = 'F' AND R.with IS NULL;

They called him Farty Marty,, but Martin couldn't help if his mother believed legumes were potent brain food but Gasex was a no go cause sniffing farts increased his test scores.

"Howard, I'm telling you. The man's a genius. The contraption he mounts on his cattle collect the methane emisions, he gets to book a carbon windfall & then he sells it to the

I am a variant man. I am a variegated man. I'm a vagrant man. I'm a homely man. I'm a cocooning man. I'm a distracted man. I'm a distributed man. I'm a

This was supposed to be that list that I promised in that other missive. I say "was supposed to be that list" because it started with the intention of giving you the list but as yo

Twas the Bill before Christmas & all thu the House, the lawyers were grumbling & beginning to grouse. "T'will take a fortnight to see this thing done, I'm tired but let's have some

"Say, what would you get if you crossed a hen with a duck?" Emily asked Brian in science class one rainy afternoon.

Growing up, I was told we weren't allowed to swim in the ocean. I always believed that was because we could get hurt and my parents were trying to protect us. Little did I know...

I am Groot.

I smelled him burning before I heard him pounding on the oven door. Whoops! Forgot to set the timer! Smoke filled the room as I rushed to the stove. Oven mitts, oven mitts, where

Tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, A wop bop a-loo-bob-a-wob-bam-boo.

Sure he was a Zombie, but paragliding was so much fun. He launched himself off a cliff in Big Sur (left his foot on the ground) and soared through the air.

The bastards from the South had come and gone. All we had to show for it was a funeral pyre adrift on an splenetic sea. We watched our matriarch of Horn and Ice sink, extinguished.

I got to go paylaking this weekend

It eludes definition just as it eludes itself;