Tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, A wop bop a-loo-bob-a-wob-bam-boo.

I smelled him burning before I heard him pounding on the oven door. Whoops! Forgot to set the timer! Smoke filled the room as I rushed to the stove. Oven mitts, oven mitts, where

I am Groot.

Growing up, I was told we weren't allowed to swim in the ocean. I always believed that was because we could get hurt and my parents were trying to protect us. Little did I know...

"Say, what would you get if you crossed a hen with a duck?" Emily asked Brian in science class one rainy afternoon.

Twas the Bill before Christmas & all thu the House, the lawyers were grumbling & beginning to grouse. "T'will take a fortnight to see this thing done, I'm tired but let's have some

This was supposed to be that list that I promised in that other missive. I say "was supposed to be that list" because it started with the intention of giving you the list but as yo

I am a variant man. I am a variegated man. I'm a vagrant man. I'm a homely man. I'm a cocooning man. I'm a distracted man. I'm a distributed man. I'm a

"Howard, I'm telling you. The man's a genius. The contraption he mounts on his cattle collect the methane emisions, he gets to book a carbon windfall & then he sells it to the

They called him Farty Marty,, but Martin couldn't help if his mother believed legumes were potent brain food but Gasex was a no go cause sniffing farts increased his test scores.

SELECT * FROM People P LEFT OUTER JOIN Relations R on R.with = P.id WHERE P.iq > 140 AND P.sex = 'F' AND R.with IS NULL;

Aquaman - King of Atlantis, Summoner of the Seven Seas - rose from the depths with the broken and bloody corpse of Eric Merman in his arms. "Look me in the eye, Batman, and tell me

Mary was drinking a soda when two Federal Agents arrested her in public! "Mary Anne Jones" said the blonde one "You're under arrest for the manufacturing and selling of

Damn!

Hiding behind a display case, Bob snuck a Listerine bottle into his jacket and walked out of the CVS. It was party time.

There was a distinct tingle in the air. He stepped out of the shadows, knowing that he'd be giving away his position, but he was done with the cat and mouse game. He stooped and

Frustrated that I cannot remember a simple word, I type 'that party thing stuffed with candy' into the search engine and facepalm when I see the results. A pinata! Of course! How c

I love myself

Many rebelled when they read his manifestos, unwilling to consider the truth they contained. But some realized the activist was right, especially those who ate their own shorts.

Luke heard the screaming... the world was falling apart, and it had only been three days! People, rising from the dead to devour others! "This is a nightmare!" he said to himself.