He was reincarnated as a bacterium living

He was reincarnated as a bacterium living inside the colon of a maggot living in a festering rat turd in a sewer beneath a squalid slum. He looked on the bright side. "At least

I went to Jared!" My blushing bride-to-be began to swoon. Either that, or the stench of a thousand mounds of microbial filth were beginning to take a tole on her delicate respitory

rapy resumed and the group was back in circle. A lot could happen during a 15 minute break from group therapy. I looked at my new fiance who seemed to be experiencing some sort of

erection in his pants. I told my fiancée that was inappropriate for group therapy but his simply stated that it made him horny. It was time to call an end to this facade of

pretending to have erections (in his pants) just to shock the little old ladies at the church. I had to face the truth. My fiance had a thing for women over 70. He wanted them to

stroke his ego (and maybe other things, too.) After the wedding, I had no other choice than to dress as an elderly woman and indulge his senior citizen fetish to keep the marriage

in the correct tax bracket. He loved me more as my teeth snaggled, my hair greyed and my hip joints seized up. But this didn't stop him from running off with my Mother to Cadiz

the oldest continuously inhabited city in Spain and one of the oldest in all southwestern Europe. So I was happy because I didn't need to buy my mom any birthday gifts. With this

constant reminder of her age, she'd learn to put up or shut up. We all have to get old sometime, Ma. We all gots to get old. Some of us just don't get to be as old as others.