For starters we're having Sardicado crostini

  • For starters we're having Sardicado crostini & pepperice stuffed squash blossoms. Then it's spagetofu with chipotleek sauce & for the main course stuffed pumpkingfishallotomatillo

  • . Heston Blumenthal looked at the vegan hippies expecting them to be impressed with his menu but they weren't. The hippies just continued talking about composting

  • and the proposed plan to transition the commune into reusable toilet paper. They'd gone through 72 rolls last month alone and the Director was fed up. Blumenthal asked

  • "Is anyone else's ass crack severely chaffed? Mine feels like an interchange on the 405 freeway, hot, crusty and raging." Blumenthal was like that. The commune had been thinking

  • about upgrading the toilet paper in the outhouses. Butt until Blumethal complained, the commune had been using thistles. "And, while we're at it," he continued, "Let's also install

  • a download accelerator, my staff is spending way too much time in the toilet, we are a Michelin starred restaurant for God's sake!" But what Blumethal's staff was really doing in

  • the loo was writing love sonnets and haiku on the bathroom stalls with rainbow colored Sharpies. When Blumethal learned what his restaurant staff was up to, he punished them by

  • forcing them to eat snail porridge until they were sick. So Blumenthal's staff got their revenge by serving Cleveland Steamer as a starter. But the reviews for the soup were rave

  • so they, buoyed by this success, introduced the Alabama Hot Pocket as an entree. Eventually Blumenthal found himself staffless; they all had gone to open an eatery. Their desserts

  • arrived first (of course). As all were congratulating themselves and telling Hot Pocket folklore, Bluementhal was updating his will and making flight arrangements to Jersey Shore.



  1. lucielucie Dec 26 2014 @ 14:11

    THIS is a great story, team. High fives & fist bumps all round.

  2. zxvasdf Dec 26 2014 @ 15:31

    *fist bump* I had to look up Cleveland Steamer.... and I would eat snail porridge, only if it were garnished with destridulated crickets.

  3. lucielucie Dec 26 2014 @ 16:17

    http://foldingstory.com/wmcxa/enavlx/ Cleveland Steamer first made an appearance in this story I think.

  4. zxvasdf Dec 26 2014 @ 18:08

    That Big Lebowski's definitely at the end of morality there.

  5. SlimWhitman Jan 01 2015 @ 03:41

    *bumps a pumpkingfishallotomatillo*

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