Rachel had always loved figs, but wondered

Rachel had always loved figs, but wondered what all the fuss about figgy pudding was about. She decided that only way to satisfy her curiosity was a pilgrimmage to

Finland, where she'd heard figgs had originated. She packed a huge backpack, shouldered it, and set out on foot. What she didn't know was that

figgs didn't grow in Finland. And Finland was North, not Up, from her home. She never could read a map properly. She also didn't know that

at that very moment, an enigmatic Finnish assassin crouched enigmatically on the roof of her house, directly above her, waiting to Finnish her off. Perhaps map reading wasn't all

the the enigmatic assassin could do. He seemed like he could engimatically punch people in the face and then act like nothing had happened. He also seemed like he

was trained by watching "Captians" where Shatner stepped all over anything interesting that the other captains had to say. The enigmatic assassin of talent

big bad mamas boy Bill, lil' pimp, the rocket man sat on his high chair and said, "Scotty, beam me up - there's no intelligent life here." Patrick Stewart, Kate Mulgrew & the rest

denied his request to "beam up" & left the rocket man to sulk with his own kind in mediocrity. Patrick Stewart asked Kate Mulgrew, "When Q tried to romance you, did he appear as a

towards Gene Roddenberry?" Gene Roddenberry appeared, quite offended, and declared, "I hope none of you live long and prosper." The universe imploded, because he is Roddenberry.