Being in the kitchen with David is my favorite

  • Being in the kitchen with David is my favorite thing to do. We laugh & sing, joke & drink wine while we're cooking. Things got out of hand one night though when we were making

  • Lobster Fra Diavolo & a side of Black Linguine. I always wondered what made the linguine black. David said, "You don't want to know" but I just had to ask. The frisky lobsters

  • was our band name. Local punk rock. Well, edgy alt rock, but we were the hardest band in Hartline, Wa. David pounded the drums. I checked the Mic by shouting, "Frisky Lobsters

  • in Hartline are ALIVE!" I played chords C, F and G, sometimes A, which are in the Key of Awesome. Then me, Dave & the rest of the band headed to Banks Lake for satanic rituals with

  • 80s British charity musical act Band Aid. "Feed the Dark Lor-ord, serve him little baby morsels..." Bono ripped the intestines from the corpse of the virgin Sting had beheaded.

  • He then legged it to the kitchen. Despite Bono not being known for his cooking, he was determined to make a fabulous bunch of sausages out of the virgins intestines. Adding salt,

  • cajun seasoning and a just a hint of love, he created the perfect meal for the voracious Inquisitor. If the food wasn't good enough, his whole family would be murdered in cold

  • cucumber soup & garnished with scallions by the bunch of celery which had been stalking his family awaiting the go ahead. The Inquisitor hated the gumbo."Your family dies." He snap

  • -crackle-popped his way through the kitchen, hoping to find the one piece of evidence he needed to seal the case: The Cheese Grater. But alas, it was nowhere to be found, having

  • been absconded with by a small child who smelt of spam and was banging it loudly on the floor overhead, so that many a folder was awoken rudely and too early to soothe headache.



  1. PurpleProf Aug 07 2014 @ 20:36

    Cool how Lithium brought the story back into the kitchen. Here is David from QVC is doing his happy dance, happy dance! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eS8zDgtWW7s I love watching "In the Kitchen With David" just to watch him dance. Obviously, David is not the Inquisitor.

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