She leant her forehead against his shoulder

  • She leant her forehead against his shoulder then wiped her tear stained face across his shirt. "I don't want this divorce." "We can't have everything we want, we both know that."

  • "I know that," her husband said. "But don't you think your lack of a vagina might be a problem in our relationship? You should have talked to me before having that operation."

  • And that's when she really blew her lid. "You shitsipping sonofabitch! I told you about the operation three times! You just grunted." "Oh, huh. Wow. Was it during the playoffs?"

  • So, she tattooed reminders for me on Colin Kaepernick's arm. While watching the NFC Championship, I noticed fresh ink: "Milk, eggs, operation. XOXO." I took a big sip of Natty and

  • yawned, football. I did all the things someone who is a fan of football is supposed to do. I did this to keep people from thinking there was something wrong with me or my marriage.

  • I ran up and down the middle of the street, throwing high passes to myself, sometimes catching them, silently chanting "My marriage is not on the rocks." I didn't see the BMW until

  • about three seconds before it happened, which somehow was enough time for the past year and a half to play back in my mind, emphasizing every mistake I made, before I began flying

  • through the air. I suddenly felt completely free, unburdened by my past sins, leaving all memories & concerns behind. I spread my arms, closed my eyes, & soared to the top of

  • the first circle of hell. I'd escaped Cerberus' carnivorous clutches and run from a lustful beast in a swirling dust storm. Now I conversed with other virtuous pagans in limbo and

  • found out Elizabeth Taylor pegged it: "The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."



  1. lucielucie Jun 07 2014 @ 03:53

    My fold was inspired by the scene from Danish political drama Borgen, from what I remembered of the subtitles.

  2. 49erFaithful Jun 09 2014 @ 13:53

    Surefire way to get to double-digit likes: spell Kaepernick right!

  3. buddyboy4711 Jun 09 2014 @ 14:04

    I like the sports! Fun fact: "Dwyane Wade" is misspelled more often than any other sports name, according to some article I read at some point. Of course, that's because people think it's easy. No one gives "Houshmandzadeh" a try without looking it up first.

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