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Obama walked out of the Bathroom and saw

  • Obama walked out of the Bathroom and saw Romney bent over, texting, at the top of the stairs. The president realized it would be real easy to just

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  • win the election, but he wanted a challenge. So Obama said to Romney, "Hey, Mitt, you should totally go on the air and say you only care about 53% of the nation." The next day,

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  • the world woke up to a new reality - one where the masks of previous eras had been cast aside. "Vote for me!" cried Romney, "And I'll give everyone free cash!"

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  • Well, that little bit of campaigning did the trick and everyone did vote for Romney. President Romney made good on his promise and dished out the cash. So we went on a shopping

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  • spree at the pet store, since there were now way more jobs than humans alone could fill. I bought a wyvern egg and waited for it to hatch. Hatchless weeks passed. Romney promised

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  • to send me an incubator but his wife had handcuffed him to their bed so I had to sit on the eggs to keep them warm. Romney later sent me a letter to apologise but it was too late

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  • the eggs failed to hatch. I shut myself in my mansion & stopped the clocks. Dust & cobwebs accumulated, eventually covering my life size effigy of Mitt Romney, egg murderer. I plot

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  • -ted the entirety of my life on a wall, representing each memory with an emoticon and using all 128 crayons. Withered to 67 lbs., I fainted one morning; the Mitt Romney effigy

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  • what ever that is I thought to myself, when I woke up the teacher continued with the class like nothing had happened. I sat in disbelief as she didn't even noticed i was dead for

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  • the third time that semester. Of course no one ever notices. I rarely even mention it but it seemed relevant. I hope it doesn't happen again, but I know it will. Such is life.

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